Stop the bride!
by MsHGolightly
Summary: Meredith is eager to get married. So, after breaking up with her boyfriend, she accepts to marry her old flame, Derek, on the rebound. Lexie, her pragmatic sister, thinks Meredith did a huge mistake and decides the only possible solution is to secretly derail their honeymoon with the help of Mark, Derek's coworker and best friend.
1. Chapter 1

**_Hello folks! This story is a new project and it is inspired by Sophie Kinsella's book._**

 ** _It is very AU and thus the characters could be a little different from the show._**

 ** _The main characters will be Meredith and Derek, but Lexie and Mark will play a quite fundamental role, too._**

 ** _There will be hints of other characters too._**

 ** _Please, let me know what you think about it and if you believe I should continue this._**

 ** _As always, remember I am not a native English speaker, so forgive me for any mistakes._**

 ** _Enjoy! :)_**

* * *

 **Prologue**

* * *

Honestly, Meredith has always thought that men don't gain anything from a marriage proposal. They have to do all the work, indeed. They create the most appealing occasion, they kneel down, make the question and, above all, they buy the ring.

Women's task is so much easier. They only have to answer and pronounce a _Yes_. Or _No_ , according to the circumstances.

"Who knows which is the percentage of rejected marriage proposal?" Meredith is wondering and she actually opens her mouth, in order to share her consideration with Finn, but she closes it immediately. It is a stupid question.

"Excuse me, are you saying something?" Finn directed his gaze to her.

"Oh, nothing!" Meredith smiles: "I was only... studying the menu!"

Maybe he has already bought a ring. Or maybe not. It is the same thing, Meredith would love choosing it together, too.

She takes a sip of her water and smiles lovingly to her boyfriend.

Their table is close to one of the huge window and the view of downtown Seattle and Elliott Bay is breathtaking. The rotating SkyCity restaurant, at the top of Space Needle, is one of the most romantic and expensive restaurants in Seattle and couples usually go there to celebrate their engagement. It is the perfect place for a lunch marriage proposal.

Meredith wears a sober black skirt and a printed silk shirt and she spent a fortune for a pair of stockings. Usually she wears more casual clothes but today is a special day.

Finn looks nervous. He keeps straightening the cuffs of his button down shirt and glancing to his wristwatch. He is so handsome.

When he notices that Meredith is staring at him, he smiled.

"Here we are."

"Here we are." Meredith echoed.

It's like they are speaking in code, avoiding the main topic of that date.

Meredith is going to explode, the waiting is unbearable.

Why is he temporizing so much? On the other hand, he could be waiting for the most suitable moment. It's not like you propose marriage everyday.

Meredith is already so excited, she can't help it. She has been like that, since she understands his intention.

Finn is pragmatic and blunt. He doesn't surprises you with unexpected and upsetting revelations.

He usually leaves clues and thus Meredith is always ready for his surprises.

So, this time too, he fixed the date, talking about this special lunch. And then he has touched on a very important question he is going to make to Meredith. Then he joked about his surname, asking her if she liked it. And she likes it, indeed. Though she is going to miss being Meredith Grey, she'll be very happy to be Meredith Dandridge, too.

It is even too obvious he is going to propose! It's not like Meredith is obsessed by the idea of getting married; but they have been together for almost two years now and they love each other. It is her longest relationship so far and she believes they fit perfectly together. Not to mention both her younger sisters, Lexie and Molly, got married before her. Well, to be honest Lexie is now dealing with her divorce and it is a nasty and unpleasant situation. But it is not the point. Meredith strongly believes she is ready to start her family with the man she loves. She is thirty-three years old, after all.

"So Meredith, are you ready to order?" Finn asked her and he is grinning.

"Ehm..." Meredith lowers her gaze to hide her blushing. Actually, her mind is wondering about their future together, their beautiful blonde-haired children and their house.

Obviously she can't tell him that.

"Meredith? Are you okay?"

"Oh, sorry!" She quickly replies. "It's nothing. I am only sad you'll leave tomorrow."

Finn is a vet specialized in animal behavior. He is going to New York to give lectures about cultural transmission in animals and he will be there for the next six weeks. Meredith will miss him a lot, but at least she will be busy with wedding planning.

"Babe, don't be sad, I hate when you feel like this." he grabs my hand on the table, squeezing it. "We'll Skype everyday."

"Yeah, I know." she squeezes his hand back.

Finn grins and strokes her cheek. "I love you." his voice is deep, warm and relaxed. Meredith thinks she'll never get bored of hearing it. "I love you, too."

"Speaking of which, Meredith..." Finn clears his throat. "I should ask you something."

 _Oh my Goodness_! Meredith widens her eyes, her lips stretched in a tight smile.

She lowers her gaze and gulps, seeing one of the stockings has fallen down her ankle.

She can't receive a proposal in that state!

"Sorry, Finn." she interrupts him.

Meredith grabs the stocking sneakily, tugging at it but the thin fabric unavoidably breaks. _Great_!

"Are you alright?" Finn asks her, worried.

"I have to go to the toilet." she grumbles. "I am sorry. I am _so_ sorry. Can we take a little break?"

"Are you alright?" he repeats.

"Yes, I am." Meredith replies, flushed with embarrassment. "I have a little problem with my clothes. Can you turn your face, please?"

Finn is very perplexed but he turns his head compliantly.

Meredith passes through the dining room, aware of people staring at her. She has a drooped ans snagged stocking around her ankle, after all.

She pushes the bathroom's door, takes off her shoe and then pulls out the stocking quickly. She has just paused her wedding proposal. Meredith almost laughs, thinking about it!

A blonde girl turns to look at her, holding a red lip pencil.

"The waste basket is there." she points it out with her chin. "Is everything alright?"

Meredith looks strange, standing there without a shoe and holding a stocking.

"Yes, it is. Thank you." She throws away the ruined stockings and, suddenly, she needs to share the solemnity of the moment with all these stranger women. "My boyfriend is proposing to me!"

All women turn in order to look at her.

"What do you mean _he's proposing_?" asks a thin girl with red hair and a pink dress.

"Well, he told me he had to ask me something very important but then this disaster happened." Meredith replies, gesturing toward her naked legs. "So he is in pause, now."

"In pause?" another girl asks, incredulously.

"Well, if I were you, I'd hurry up." the girl with red hair says. "Don't give him the chance to change his mind!"

"How exciting!" the blonde exclaims. "Can we watch you? Oh! Maybe I can film it!"

"We could upload the video on YouTube!" another woman says.

"Oh, I don't think it's a good idea." Meredith murmurs.

"How does it work?" an old woman with gray hair barges in the discussion. She is shaking angrily her hands under the soap dispenser. "Why they invent these infernal machines?"

"Aunt Mae, you have to lower your hands, exactly like this." the girl with red hair reassures her.

Meredith takes her mobile, she has to send a message to Lexie.

 **\- He is doing it!**

Her reply appears on the display:

 **I hope you aren't writing a message in the middle of your marriage proposal!**

 **\- I am in the bathroom, now.**

 **\- I'm so excited, you are awesome together! I love you xxx**

 **\- I'll tell you everything later! Love you too xxx**

"Your mascara is dripping." the blonde states and she gives her a makeup remover pen.

"Thank you." Meredith smiles politely at her and starts removing the little dark spots around her eyes.

"I wish my boyfriend will propose to me, too." a girl says gloomily. She has long dark hair and wears a black dress. "What is the trick?"

"I don't know." Meredith replies, feeling sorry for her. "I guess it's because we've been together for a long time now. We know we are made for each other."

"We are too! We live together, our sexual harmony is fantastic and everything is great!"

"Don't pressure him too much." the blonde wisely suggests.

"I don't! I give him all the time he needs. But we have been living together for six years now. What can I do?"

" _Six years_?" the old woman asks and she seems incredulous. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me." she says, visibly annoyed.

"Aunt Mae!"

"Don't shush me, Amy!" the old woman scrutinizes all the girls from head to toe. "Men are like animals. As soon as they catch their prey, they eat it and then they fall asleep. I guess you hand him your prey to him on a platter, don't you?"

"It is not so simple." the girl with dark hair replies.

"Back in my day, men got married only because of the sex." the woman chuckles. "Nowadays you sleep with men, live with them and _then_ you want the engagement ring. You are fool! Hurry up, Amy, I am hungry. What are you waiting for?"

Amy glances at us, asking other girls for forgiveness and then she exits with her aunt.

"Don't worry." Meredith reassures the woman in black. "I am sure everything will end well."

"Yeah." she whispered. "I hope so. Well, I wish you lots of happiness!"

"Thank you!" Meredith gives the makeup remover pen to the blonde. "Well, now I have to go. Cross your fingers for me."

Meredith goes out the toilet and walks toward her table, Finn is looking at her.

"Sorry." she says as she sits down. "Can we push the rewind button?"

He smiles and nods but it seems the waiting has stifled his enthusiasm.

"Today is a special day." Meredith encourages him. "Don't you feel the same?"

"Definitely."

"The restaurant is wonderful." she keeps talking. "The perfect place for a... chat."

Meredith leaves her hands on the table and Finn quickly grabs them between his, gently stroking them.

He takes a deep breath and says: "Meredith, I was going to ask you something."

Meredith doesn't dare to blink or look away from his face and she is actually holding her breath.

"Well, I guess it won't be a big surprise for you..."

"Yes?" she nervously whispered.

"Would you like some bread?"

Both Meredith and Finn jump as a waiter has approached their table, holding a basket of white bread and some butter.

Meredith wants to cry, it seems the fate is against her wedding!

As soon as the waiter leaves them alone, she asks Finn: "So, did you want to make me a question?"

"Yeah." he is staring at her but soon his expression changes again. Another waiter is coming, to take their orders.

They both order their meals and Meredith doesn't pay attention at her choice, indeed.

When they are alone she giggled: "It seems today is not your day."

"Eh, no."

"I think the sommelier is coming, too."

"It's like being in the middle of the Red Square!" he directs his gaze to the sky, feeling discouraged.

"We can get some champagne, what do you think?" he suddenly asks.

Meredith can't help but smile widely, he wants to celebrate! "Well, isn't it a little premature?"

"It depends." He lifts his eyebrow. "You tell me."

"In this case..." Meredith stops and her eyes are actually shining as she speaks. "Yes, my answer is and always would be _yes!_ "

His forehead relaxes as if he has been afraid by her response. As if Meredith could actually say no to him.

His proposal has been subtle and she likes it.

"Yes, Finn." Meredith repeats. "You can't believe how much this concerned me."

He intertwines his fingers with hers ans it is like they are communicating in a code they only know.

They stay in silence, no words are needed.

Meredith is already fantasizing about the colors of the wedding, her dress and the invitations. She feels sorry for the other girls too, but nothing can ruin this moment. She looks forward to telling everything to Lexie!

"So... Are you happy?" Meredith eventually breaks the silence.

"I can't be happier!" Finn replies.

The sommelier has just arrived and he smiles at them: "Would you like some wine, sir?"

"We need champagne, indeed!" Meredith promptly exclaims.

" _Absolutement_." he nods. "We usually serve Ruinart for special occasions."

"It is perfect! Today is a very very special day!" Meredith can't help but share her happiness with the world. She sees the girl with dark hair is looking at them from her table.

"We've got engaged! My boyfriend has just proposed!"

" _Mademoisselle_!" The face of the sommelier lights up. " _Félicitations_! Congratulations to you too, Sir."

Meredith turns toward Finn and she notices he doesn't seem happy, at all. He pales and is staring at her as if he has just seen a ghost.

"What-" He choked. "What do you exactly mean?"

Meredith widens her eyes, not understanding his behavior.

"Meredith, we're not engaged. I did not ask you to marry me." he simply states.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello guys! First of all thank you! I couldn't expect this story would have received such a warm welcome from you.**

 **I am sorry for my delay, but as you already knew, I have to translate my chapters and it's a long and hard work. (As always forgive me, for some likely mistakes.)**

 **This chapter is very long and it gives information about Meredith and Lexie lives. You'll have some hints of Derek, too :)**

 **I must warn you that if you like Jackson Avery you would not be pleased with this chapter. I need an ex-husband for Lexie and I chose him.**

 **I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and please review, review, review!**

* * *

Meredith is back to work and she finds her desk covered in Pot-it notes. Probably the phone must have been busy, during her absence.

Meredith works at the _Blay Pharmaceuticals_ and she is in charge of staff recruitment.

As she let herself fall flabbily on the leather chair, Kayla, her intern, clears her throat standing on the threshold.

Kayla is one of the most enthusiastic interns Meredith has ever met; she loves her job and does it efficiently and passionately.

"How was lunch?" she asks and her eyes are actually twinkling.

Meredith closes her eyes, feeling nauseous. _Why she told Kayla that Finn was going to propose_?

"It was fine. The restaurant was beautiful."

"Are you engaged, then?"

Meredith feels as Kayla has just rubbed some salt on her wounds.

"Well." She looks down and runs her hands down her thighs to smooth invisible wrinkles in her skirt. "Actually, no. I did not accept his proposal."

"Really?" she goggles at her boss, visibly confused.

"Yes. " Meredith nods. "Definitely. A wedding hasn't been the right choice in my life, now. I want to focus on my career."

"But… You two looked so good together. I've always thought you _fit_ together!" Kayla exclaims.

"Well, sometimes things are not as easy as they seem." Meredith drily replies.

She actually doesn't need her intern's reprimand. If Kayla could only know the truth!

The truth is that after the sommelier had wisely disappeared, Meredith and Finn started arguing about the fake-proposal.

Truthfully the infamous question that Finn was going to make to Meredith was about his frequent-flyer miles and the chance to organize a journey together. And all his jokes about his surname were the result of a survey conducted among his co-workers.

Meredith had to fight the impulse to slap him in the face, indeed.

Apparently Finn didn't want to get marry so soon, since he wasn't ready for such a big step. Actually, he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to get married.

Thus, she stoically left the table and broke up with him.

"He must have been devastated." Kayla urges and Meredith heaves a sigh.

"Pretty much.. He didn't take my refusal very well. In fact... He cried." She lies. Meredith can tell Kayla whatever she wants to. She will never see Finn again, after all.

She feels like she has been punched in the stomach, realizing that everything is over.

She won't see Finn again. She won't have sex with him, nor wake up next to him. She will never more hug him.

Meredith wants to cry. But she can't. Not in front of Kayla.

"Oh Meredith, you're so inspiring. You are a very strong and skilled woman!" the young inter tweets. "You know what you want from your life and you are brave enough to be whatever the hell you want to be. And not what _people_ expect you to be!"

Meredith's jaw slightly trembles, she must end that conversation as soon as possible.

"So, are there any important messages?" she asks, gesturing toward the Post-it notes.

"Most of them are from Ben, about presentation tomorrow Oh! And some guy named Derek called."

"Derek who?"

"Just Derek. He said you'd have understood."

Meredith raised her eyebrows, surprised. She has no idea about who this Derek could be. Maybe he's only a brash student, met during a recruiting seminar, who wants a job interview.

"I am not sure I know any Derek. Anyway it's time to come back to work, I'll call if I need you, Kayla, thank you."

As soon as Meredith is finally alone, her phone rings.

"Meredith Grey."

"Mer! It's Lexie!"

She actually wants to hang up on her.

"Ah, Lexie. Hi." she says instead.

"So, how are you?"

Meredith knows Lexie has called in order to have details about her wedding proposal. Her _missing_ wedding proposal.

"Yeah, I am fine." She replies aloofly. "What about you?"

"I'm fine, too. And so…?"

Lexie purposely hasn't finished her question but Meredith knows what her sister wanted to ask. _So, are you wearing a massive diamond ring and toasting yourself with Bollinger as Finn is doing very, very naughty things at you?_

She can't bear to talk about it and tell her everything. She can't bear Lexie's sympathy gushing over her. Not now, at least. She has to change the topic, soon.

"Well…" Her voice acquires a fake cheerful tone as she speaks. "Anyway. Um. Actually, I was thinking that… I really should apply for a PhD program. Maybe on business theory. What do you think?"

* * *

 _Oh crap!_ , Lexie wants to cry.

It went badly. She doesn't know how but the date went badly.

Every time Meredith breaks up with her partner, she starts speaking about the PhD.

Lexie knows she has to encourage her, at least until Meredith decides to admit the truth. Every attempt to help her sister or to have some more information will be completely counterproductive.

"Yes? A PhD seems a very good idea." Thus Lexie replies.

Meredith starts rambling about all the opportunities she would have if she took this PhD and Lexie listens to her, in silence.

She eventually stops talking and Lexie holds her breath: maybe Meredith is going to tell her what happened with Finn.

"So, by the way, Finn and I aren't together anymore."

" _Ah_. Really?"

"Yep. We spilt up."

"Well. That's a real... I mean, that's..."

"Yes. That's a shame." Meredith pauses. "In one way."

"Right. So, was he..." Lexie is trading on eggshells. "I thought you said he had a big question?"

"Yes. He changed his story." Meredith says in a determinedly nonchalant voice. "He said it wasn't a big question. It was just a question."

"So what was this question?" she asks as tactfully as she can.

"It was about air miles." Meredith flatly replies.

"Ah."

Suddenly, Lexie notices that Ian Aylward, her boss, is at her office window, waving his arm to capture her attention. He wants her speech for the awards ceremony.

Lexie fakes a happy smile and turns up he thumb, mouthing: "Done, I'll email it."

It's a blatant lie but it works, since he walks away.

She glances at her wristwatch and sighs. Lexie has exactly ten minutes to support Meredith, to write the rest of her speech and to touch up her makeup.

She feels suddenly very angry with Finn. If he wants to break Meredith's heart, couldn't he choice another day?

She opens the Word document and write frantically:

 _Good evening! I am Alexandra Grey, editor of Pincher Travel Review, and I would like to welcome you to our twenty-third annual awards ceremony. And what a year it's been!_

"Meredith you remember tonight there'll be the the awards ceremony, don't you?" Lexie says, feeling guilty. "It's the most important event for us and I have to leave in five minutes. If I could come round, you know I would in a heartbeat."

"Come round? And _why_ would you do that?" Meredith angrily replies. "I don't need your pity. I am well, actually I've never felt better in my life! I only wanted to inform you about by academic plans. You think my whole life revolves around a man?"

"No, absolutely. Yes, I know." Lexie says ruefully.

As Meredith keeps rambling about colleges she types faster and faster. Lexie has given this speech three times before, since she became editor-in-chief.

She is sure she'll leave someone out, this is the law of the thank-you speech: missing some vital person.

 _And last but not the least I would like to thank you all for coming. Both those who have won awards and those who are gnashing their teeth furiously. I can see you!_

 _My thanks are due to everyone who put this award ceremony together, the entire staff of Pincher International, all our families, all seven billions people on this planet, God/Allah/Other…_

She drags her attention back to the phone and listening to Meredith babble on about academic programs, her heart is sinking.

Meredith's refusal to admit that anything is wrong makes Lexie want to hug her. But it also makes her to yell: _Stop talking about that bloody PhD, just admit you're hurt, for God's Sake_!

Meredith always refuses to admit she has some problems, being slow on the uptake, and she usually doesn't deals with them very well. She starts off all brave and positive and goes days, maybe weeks, without breaking down, a smile lodged on her face.

Until the delayed action happens, which it does in the form of some impulsive, outrageous, total fuckwit gesture which makes her feel euphoric for about five minutes.

Once, when she broke up with her high school boyfriend, she got a tattoo on her ankle. Another time, during college, she got a piercing. An _intimate_ piercing, which obviously became infected.

It's only after the euphoric phase that Meredith properly cracks. She regrets her crazy behavior and drowns her lovelorn sorrows in alcohol. And in one night stands, too.

It's always Lexie, who has to pick up the pieces and put Meredith back on her feet.

Lexie is the rational and wise sister, while Meredith and Molly are more fearless and rebel.

Lexie and Molly usually call Meredith's post-break fuckwit actions her _unfortunate choices_ , which is a phrase Susan Grey used a lot when she was alive. Susan was Lexie and Molly's mother and the second wife of Thatcher Grey, while Meredith is the daughter he had from his first marriage with Ellis Grey. They were married for two years before she began having an affair with one of her co-workers. Eventually, Ellis's affair and time away from home put too much strain on their marriage and they divorced. Meredith was only a toddler at that time and she didn't remember anything about it.

One year later, Thatcher met and married Susan, a lovely and nice woman, and they had two daughters, Lexie and Molly.

Since Ellis was always very busy with her job, putting her career before her family, Meredith was raised by Susan and Thatcher, and she usually spent her summer break with her mother, who had moved to Boston.

Though Meredith had a lot of issues with her mom, she had been very thorn up when Ellis passed away, during her college years.

Three years earlier, Susan suddenly died too and all her three daughters, because she had always treated and considered Meredith as her own daughter, were really devastated.

Lexie misses her mother a lot, especially when she has to pick up pieces of Meredith's life. Susan always knew what to do with her. Thatcher doesn't count. After Susan's death he quickly began drinking heavily and he still has some alcohol problems, though he went into rehab. Calling Molly is out of question, too. She is stationed in Hawaii with her husband, Eric Thompson, who is in the Navy, and their six-years-old daughter Laura. Also Cristina Yang, Meredith's best friend since kindergarten, isn't in Seattle anymore because moved to Zurich the previous winter.

Lexie can senses that another unfortunate choice is looming, it's out there somewhere and she is terrified by that. She wishes Meredith would just curse and yell and throw things. At least, the madness would be out of her system and she could relax. When Lexie broke up with Jackson, she swore obscenely for two weeks and stuffed herself with lots of candies and junk food. It wasn't very pretty but she didn't get a piercing, after all.

"Mer…" she rubs her head. "You know I'm off on holiday tomorrow for the next two weeks?"

Lexie and James are heading off to California. She's reviewing three hotels, six restaurants and a couple of theme parks while he is on vacation from school for Spring Break.

"Yes, I remember."

"Will you be okay?"

" _Of course_ I'll be okay Lexie."

"Yes, well." Lexie sighs. "I have to leave now, talk soon. Love you."

She puts the phone down, closes her eyes and gives her brain about five seconds to reboot and focus on the awards ceremony.

She swiftly types a very long list of people to thank, better be safe than sorry, and she emails it to Ian. Then, she leaves her office and heads into the Ladies' restroom. Lexie sees her reflection and winces. She barely recognizes herself: her face is paler than usual and she looks very tired.

Until six months ago, her life was perfect: she had a gorgeous and caring husband, a joyous and smart son and a fulfilling job.

Then, she discovered her husband's infidelity and her perfect world fell apart.

Lexie and Jackson, her almost-ex-husband, met during college. They both attended Columbia University and Lexie was immediately fascinated by him.

Jackson Avery was attending Medical School, while Lexie was enrolled in the Graduate School of Journalism.

He is three years older than her and belongs to one of the richest and most important families of the East Coast and his grandfather was one of the most famous surgeons in US. He is forward and charming and is obsessed by his job. After graduating, he moved to Seattle, in order to join the residency program at Seattle Grace Hospital, the best one in the whole country.

Since she had skipped third grade, Lexie graduated too and followed him to Seattle, her birthplace.

She became an intern at _Pincher Travel Review_ , a monthly travel magazine. In that way, she had the chance to combine her passion for travel with her academic studies. Lexie has traveled around the world for years, writing articles and reviews for hotels, restaurants and all kind of places and now, at twenty-nine years old, she is the editor of the magazine.

Just after their moving, Jackson proposed and three months later they got married. Jackson never completely approved his wife's job, especially when she got pregnant with their first and only child, James Harper Avery. He would have wanted her to leave it, in order to stay at home and raise their son. Anyway, he never forced Lexie to choose between her family and her career.

Lexie has always believed Jackson was the love of her life but obviously she was wrong. If someone loves you, he doesn't cheated on you with his resident.

Anyway, Jackson can not haunt her life, again. She has to focus on the ceremony

After brushing her hair and applying some blush and her MAC lipstick, Lexie feels actually refreshed.

As she hurries back down the corridor, she presses _Jackson_ on speed dial as she walks. He'll know she's phoning now, they discussed the timing so he'll pick up, he has to pick up... Voicemail.

 _Bastard!,_ Lexie thinks.

The beeps sounds and she starts speaking: "You're not there. That's a shame because I have to attend this event soon, which you knew, because we discussed it. Several times. As always, my job is not important for you..."

Her voice is shaking but she cannot allow him to get to me.

"Anyway," she takes a deep breath. "Maybe you can let James listen to this message? Thank you."

Lexie closes her eyes, reminding herself she is not talking with Jackson any more. She's talking to the little face that lights up her life. The only face that keeps the world making sense. She pictures his shaggy and dark hair, his huge blue eyes, the freckles on the bridge of his nose, just like hers. Curled up on the sofa at Jackson's place, with Bubsy, his stuffed dog, under his arm.

"Sweetie, I hope you're having a lovely time with daddy. I'll see you soon, okay? I'll try to call later, but if you don't manage it, then goodnight and I love you very much!"

She's nearly at her office door and she has stuff to do but she can't help talking for as long as possible.

"Night night, Jamie. Sleep well, sleep tight, okay? Night nigh-"

"Night night." answers a familiar tiny voice and Lexie nearly trips over her her party Manolos.

Has she hallucinating? Has James overridden the voicemail?

"Hello?"Lexie asks cautiously.

" _Hello_? Hello, hello, hello!"

The voice isn't coming from the phone, it's coming from-

Lexie hurries back into her office and there he is. Her five-years-old son. Sitting on the armchair she gives to visitors.

"Mommy" he yells in delight and runs toward her.

Lexie can't help but kneel and hug him tightly.

"Whoa!" She is almost speechless. "James, you are here. At my office. That's just... Jackson?"

Lexie stands up and turns toward her ex-husband,who is standing by the window.

"What's going on? You knew about the awards ceremony and we agreed James would have been with you tonight. As we planned."

"But I'm here!", puts in James, grinning triumphantly.

"Yes! I can see that, sweetie. So... Jackson?" her smile has spread right across her face because the rule is that the more she smiles at Jackson, the more she feels like stabbing him.

Lexie can't help but survey his features with a critical eye, even he has nothing to do with her anymore. He's gained a couple of pounds, maybe April likes him in this way

"We agreed I'd drop James here, he'd spend tonight with you." he shrugs and Lexie widens her eyes.

That shrug of his is new. He has changed so much. He goes to church and bounces confrontation back like he's made of rubber. His sense of humor has been replaced by a sense of righteousness. She can't believe they used to have sex and produce James together. "What? No, we didn't, it's your night."

"I sent you an email, I have to go to Moline tonight."

"No, you didn't."

"I did."

"You did not send me any email! Why would I have agreed to have James here tonight, when I am hosting an awards ceremony?"

Jackson shrugs again and Lexie wants to punch him.

"I'm about to go to the airport and I cannot bring him with me. He's had something to eat. Here's his overnight bag." He dumps James's backpack on the floor. "All right, James? Mommy's going to have you tonight, lucky thing!"

There is no way out of this.

"Great!" Lexie smiles at James, who is eying the two of us anxiously. It breaks her hearts to see worry in his huge eyes. He doesn't deserve this. Nor a father like Jackson. "What a treat for me!" She ruffles his hair reassuringly.

Then she sits down behind her desk, unscrews her fountain pen and writes the card for the bouquet which will be presented to the overall winner (a new spa-resort in Marrakesh).

"Well, have a good trip or whatever." she mutters but Jackson isn't leaving.

"Just one other thing." He surveys at her with that righteous expression again. "I've got a couple more points to raise over the settlement."

He's speaking about the divorce.

"Excuse me, what now?" Lexie utters.

He cannot raise more points, they've finished with those. Not to mention he cannot claim any rights, since he is the one who cheated on her. They're about to sign off, after a court case and two appeals and a million lawyers' letters. It's done.

"I was talking it over with April. And she raised some interesting issues."

Now Lexie really wants to thwack him. He cannot talk with April about about our divorce. If she wants a divorce, she has to marry him first.

"Just a couple of points, have a read." He puts some papers on her desk.

" _Jackson_ , the divorce is done. You can't keep laying new stuff on me! I'm happy with what we've agreed." Lexie says tightly, tough happy is hardly the right word. Happy would have been not finding him screwing another woman, while they were trying for another child.

"Well." He shrugs, _again_. "Maybe you're to close and I have more of a long-term view."

Lexie starts breathing too fast with frustration, trying to hold back her anger. But she can't and suddenly her wrist moves sharply and there are some little ink spots on a trail of his shirt and a bubble of happiness inside her chest.

"Are you kidding me?" Jackson looks down at his shirt and then up, toward her. "Did you just flick your pen at me?"

Lexie glances at James to see if he witnessed his mother's descent into infantile behavior, but luckily he's lost in coloring his Avengers comic album book.

"It slipped." she says innocently.

"It slipped? Are you five years old?" he frowns. "I could call my lawyer for this."

Lexie can't help but laugh coldly. "You could discuss parental responsibility, too. Your favorite subject."

"Funny."

"It is not." Lexie replies and her mood sobers. "It's really not."

She looks at their son, who is bent over his book. How can Jackson bail out on him like this? He hasn't seen him for a fortnight, he never calls to chat with him. It's as if James is a hobby that he bought all the equipment for and reached an elementary level, but then he decided he's just not that into after all and maybe he should have gone for polo instead.

"I think you should go, now."

* * *

When Lexie comes back home, later that night, she is exhaust and very frustrated. And she isn't sure who she's most frustrated with. Jackson? Finn? Ian? Probably, all men except some honorable exceptions such as James, her lawyer Alex Karev and the Dalai Lama, obviously.

After Jackson's surprise arrival, the evening only got worse.

She left James with Elise, her secretary, but suddenly he escaped and burst in the central atrium, playing with his Nerf gun. Orange bullets were shooting through the air, hitting people in the face and landing in glasses of champagne and into the massive ices cake shaped as the magazine cover.

In her agitation, Lexie even pressed some buttons of the plastic gun, hitting Ian, her boss, in the chest.

After that he talked with her about the reputation of Pincher International and how her personal life and her divorce shouldn't get in the way of her job. It was an explicit warning and she has to be very careful.

As Lexie is eating some, truthfully too many, Reese's peanut butter cups miniatures and James is sleeping peacefully in his bedroom, her Blackberry rings.

"Hello?"

There's silence, except for some fast heavy breathing.

"Hello?" She tries again. "Mer? Is that you?"

"Oh, Lexie!" Meredith sobs. "I really, really thought he was going to propoooose..."

"Oh God. Mer, darling."

"I thought he loved me and wanted babies... But he didn't. He didn't!" She is crying as bitterly as James does when he scrapes his knee.

"What am I going to do now? I am thirty-three!"

"Thirty-three is nothing." Lexie replies quickly. "You are beautiful and lovely!"

She starts hiccuping and though it's awful hearing her so upset, Lexie is secretly relieved. Her denial has cracked: this is a progress.

"Anyway," Meredith blows her nose noisily. "I've decided what to do. I feel like I have a plan, a goal."

Lexie's ears twitch. The post-breakup alarm-bell is ringing.

"Right! So, what's... what's your goal?"

"I'm going to San Francisco, obviously. I can get and surprise Finn _and_ propose!"

"What? No! It's a bad idea!"

"But I love him!" She sounds completely hyper. "I love him so much and if he can't see we're meant to be together, then I have to show him! I am booking a flight right now. Can you get me a discount?"

"No! Don't book a flight to San Francisco! Close down your computer and step away from internet!" Lexie says in the most authoritative tone she can muster.

"But-"

"No, Meredith. Face it. Finn had his chance... He doesn't want to get married."

"But... What if he just doesn't realize he wants to get married? He just need persuading!"

"Mer listen." Lexie replies severely, she has to save her sister. "You cannot persuade him. Believe me, it's not worth it. I've been there and it is... hideous." Then, she says more gently: "Just think about it first. Don't jump in."

Lexie is actually crossing her fingers when Meredith says: "Okay. I'll think about it."

She blinks in astonishment. She has headed off one of Meredith's unfortunate choices before it even happened. And, above all, she hasn't allowed her sister to be humiliated by an idiotic moron.

"As soon as I get back from holiday, we're going out to lunch." Lexie suggests to cheer up.

"Yes, that would be nice." says Meredith in a small voice. "Thank you, Lexie."

"Take care. I love you."

Maybe everything will end well and Lexie doesn't have to worry anymore.

But the truth is that she couldn't imagine what future would hold in store for them.

* * *

 ** _A/N_** : _**Thank you all for your beautiful reviews! :)**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hello guys!_**

 ** _First of all I am so so sorry for this delay. But unfortunately this period is not very happy, I hope I'll be able to update more frequently. I really like this story and it means a lot for me. Thus, thank you so much for your beautiful reviews and for your kind words. You are the best and I swear I won't abandon you!_**

 ** _Before this chapter I want to tell you something. I'd like to explain Lexie and Mark's points of view. They are not mean and they are not the evil in this story. They simply love their Meredith and Derek very much and don't want them to suffer. Both Lexie and Mark had some hideous marriage experiences and so they are scared for Meredith and Derek. They only want to protect them._**

 ** _Well, now enjoy this chapter and, as always, let me know what you think about it!_**

* * *

Meredith didn't sleep all night. Usually when people say that, they actually mean they woke up a few times, made a cup of tea and went back to bed.

But she _actually_ didn't sleep all night.

And by four A.M. she eventually realized the horrible truth (after writing a loving and passionate proposal speech, including lines by Shakespeare, Richard Curtis and the Take That, and even filming herself making it): Lexie is right. Finn will never, _ever_ , say yes. Thus, by six, she stuffed herself with all candies and chocolate she had at home and now she is slumped on a plastic chair, feeling nauseous and regretting it.

She studied logic at college and knows how it works. A=B, B=C, A=C. Premise one: Finn has no intention of proposing to her, nor to start a family.

Premise two: on the other hand, she wants marriage and commitment and, hopefully, one day, a baby.

Conclusion: she needs to be with someone else. Other conclusion: therefore, she did the right thing, breaking up with him. Further conclusion: therefore, she needs to find another man, who does want to make a life with her. Someone who wants commitment and kids and a dog and... and... and roasting a turkey for Thanksgiving and decorating a Christmas tree together... and why is that such a bad thing? Why is it totally and utterly off the agenda and unmentionable?

She takes a sip of coffee, in order to soothe her nerves. Meredith is as calm and logical as one could expect in the circumstances, which are that she had to catch the bus to Tacoma at 7:09 on no sleep and she' s about to give a recruitment talk to a hundred students in an auditorium that smells of cauliflower cheese. She is with her colleague George, in the "backstage" room to the side of the auditorium. They do a lot of these recruitment talks together: George does the science side, while Meredith does the general and economic stuff. There was time when George had a kind of crush on Meredith but now it's extinguished and they are actually good friends.

"Biscuit?" George offers her a chocolate chips cookie.

"No, thanks." Meredith shudders. She has already crammed enough trans fat and food additives into her body. Thank God the Grey genes: she has always been one of those women who don't get fat, just like her sisters.

In that moment, Leah, the college careers officer appears round the door. She is quite nervous and jumpy.

"All okay? We'll start in about ten minutes. Keep it quite brief. Nice and brief." She says nervously.

"We're happy to chat to the students afterward." Meredith states, hefting a pile of brochures out of her her canvas bag.

"Right." Her eyes are darting about. "Well, as I say, I'd keep it nice and brief."

Meredith almost wants to snap at her, she has come all the way from Seattle for this!, for God's sake. Most careers officers are delighted they'll take students' questions.

"So, normal pattern?" Meredith asks to George. "Me, you, clip one, me, you, clip two, questions?"

He nods and she hands the DVD to Leah. The recruitment DVD is the worst bit about their presentation, according to Meredith. It was shot like a 1980s music video, with bad lighting, bad music and people with bad haircuts. But is cost a lot, so they have to use it. Leah disappears to set up the DVD and Meredith leans back in her chair, trying to relax though her hands keep twisting together. Everything feels so crap.

She refreshes her lipstick, avoiding the sight of her bloodshot eyes, then hearing Leah's voice rising above the hubbub and a round of applause, she nudges George: "Come on! We're on!"

As Meredith strides onto the stage and sees their audience, she can't help but do a double take. Recruiting for a science company, she gets used to students who shamble in, hair unwashed, unshaved, with bags under their eyes. But these are stunning. There are immaculate and beautiful girls with long shiny hair, manicured nails and full makeup. Behind them there's a group of super-fit guys, their t-shirts bulging with muscles. Meredith can't speak because of astonishment. What kind of labs do they have there?

"They look great!" she murmurs to Leah and then she starts her speech about choosing a career at Blay Pharmaceuticals.

After the clips all became very clear. Leah confesses she made a mistake, sending the email about the presentation to the wrong set of students. She looked so nervous and upset because she invited to the convention trainee makeup artists and dancers, leaving out all the graduates in biochemistry, biology, business. At least Meredith understands why they are all so stunning and fit.

Thus, since giving a lecture on a career in pharmaceutical research appeared completely useless, Meredith and George start giving general advice and scan CVs.

* * *

Now, two hours later, Meredith has shared all the advice she thinks might help these guys and in return she has learned a lot about many areas she was totally ignorant of, such as: how to make someone look wounded in a movie, which actress currently starring one of the most popular TV medical dramas seems really sweet but is actually a total bitch to her makeup artist, how to do a _grand jeté_ (failing on that one).

Now, a girl with pink hair is speaking about her eyebrows but Meredith's attention is drawn to another girl, sitting in the second row. Her eyes are red-rimmered, she hasn't said a word and she keeps blowing her nose.

When she gives a massive sob, Meredith decides she can't ignore her anymore.

"Hi," she says gently, waving to attract her attention. "Excuse me. Are you okay?"

"Stephanie's had a breakup." her friend puts a protective arm round her. "Can she be excused?"

"Of course!" Meredith promptly replies. "Absolutely!"

"But will she still get the credit related this lecture?" Chimes in another friend anxiously. "Because she's already failed one module."

"It's all _his_ fault," says the first friend viciously and about ten girls nod in agreement.

"We were together for two year." The young girl gives another sob. "Two whole years. I even did half his coursework for him and now he's all like, _I need to focus on my career._ " She weeps and Meredith stares at her, tears starting to her eyes too. She does know the girl's pain.

So she exclaims warmly: " _Of course_ you'll get the credit! And I'll give you a special mention for turning up when you're clearly in mental distress."

"Will you?" Stephanie asks, giving Meredith a watery smile. "Will you really do that?"

"Yeah! But you have to listen to me, okay? You have to listen to me."

Meredith is feeling a gathering urge to speak off-topic. To convey a universal truth, not about careers, but about life and love. That girl needs to know.

Meredith suddenly feels noble and inspirational, like Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama.

"Let me say one thing to you," she begins. "Woman to woman. Professional to professional. Human being to human being. Don't let a breakup ruin your life." Meredith feels so galvanized and so sure of herself. "You're strong." She ticks off on her fingers. "You're independent. You have your own life and, the most important thing, you _do not_ need him. Okay?"

She waits until Stephanie whispers: "Okay."

"We've all had breakups." Meredith raises her voice to take in the whole room. "The answer isn't to cry. The answer isn't to eat chocolate nor plot revenge. You need to move on. Every time I've had a breakup, do you know what I've done? I've taken my life in a new direction, because I am in charge of my life." Meredith pounds her fist in her palm. "Not some Finn, Jackson or John who can't even do a smokey eye!"

A couple of girls break into applause and Stephanie's friend whoops supportively: "That's what I said! He's a waste of space1"

"No more crying," Meredith adds with emphasis. "No more tissues. No more checking your phone to see if he's called. No more stuffing your body with chocolate. Move your life. Fresh horizon. If _I_ can do it, you can too."

Meredith grins, thinking Lexie would have been proud of her. Usually she is the one who gives Meredith and Molly advice about life and love, since she has always been the wisest and most rational one.

Stephanie sniffs: "But you're strong. You're amazing and I am not like you. I never will be, even when I'm your age."

Meredith is actually touched by the young girl's look, so full of wonder, though she doesn't have necessarily behave as if she's such a dinosaur. She is only thirty-three, after all.

"You will, indeed." Meredith says confidently. "You know, I was like you once. I was quite timid and I had no idea what I would do in life nor what my potential was. I was an eighteen-year-old kid, floundering around. I was lost. But then I went on my gap year."

Meredith has told this story many. Many times. At student events, at team-building seminars, at family dinners. She never gets bored of telling it, and it always gives her a tingle.

Meredith went on her gap year at eighteen years old. She finished high school and since she didn't have a clue about colleges and what she'd do in her life, she left Seattle and went to Europe with her friend Sadie Harris. They went everywhere.

London, Paris, Rome. Berlin, Madrid and Amsterdam. During the summer of the next year they arrived to Greece.

"I went on my gap year," she repeats, "and my whole life changed. I changed as a person. One pivotal night transformed me."

Meredith takes a few steps forward and looks directly at Stephanie: "According to me, during our life we all have special defining moments which set us on a path. I had my biggest defining moment on my gap year. You just need to have your own big moment. And you will."

"What happened?" She is actually agog, just like all the others.

"I was staying at a guest house on Ikonos, it's a Greek island. It was packed full of gap-year travelers and I was there all summer. That place was magical."

Every time she tells this story, it brings back the same memories. Waking every morning to the hot Greek sun dazzling her eyelids. The feel of seawater on her sunburned skin. Biking hung over peeling wooden shutters to dry. Sand in her trodden-down espadrillas. Music and dancing every night.

"Anyway. One night there was a fire." Meredith forces herself to come back to the present. "It was terrible. The guest house was packed with people, it was like a death trap. Everyone came out onto the upstairs veranda but no one could get down... everyone was screaming, there were no fire extinguishers-"

It is always the same flashback: the moment the roof fell in. Meredith can still hear the thunderous sound and the screams and she can even smell the smoke.

The room is utterly silent and George is attentively listening too, even if he already knew the story.

"I was up the tree house, thus I had a vantage point. I could see where people should be heading in order to save themselves. They had to jump off the side of the veranda onto the top of a nearby goat shed, but no one realized that. Everyone was panicking, so I took charge. I started directing people, yelling, waving my arms and jumping up and down to be noticed. Eventually someone saw me and they all listened. They all trusted me and followed my instructions. They were all okay in the end. It was the first time in my life that I realized I could be a leader. I could make the difference."

The room was still.

"Oh my goodness! How many people?" Stephanie whispers at last.

"Ten? Maybe twelve?" Meredith shrugs.

"You saved twelve lives?" She sounds awestruck.

Meredith tries to lighten the atmosphere: "Well, who knows? I am sure they would have been saved anyway. The point is, I realized something about myself." She claps her hands on her chest: "From that moment on, I had the confidence to go for what I wanted. I changed course, changed all my ideas. I can honestly say, it all dates from that point. That was my big defining moment. I became the person I am. And you all will have your defining moments too. You will."

Meredith always feels a little overcome when she tells that story. It was so terrifying. Meredith was really scared and panicky, desperate to be heard, knowing it was all down to her. She blows her nose and smiles around to silent faces. _She did the difference_. Whatever she does that's crap and stupid, _she once did the difference_.

Suddenly a blonde girl in the front row stands up: "You are the best careers adviser we've ever had. Isn't she?" She leads a round of applause and Meredith is astonished.

"I am sure I am not."

"Yes, you are," she insists, "You are ace! Can we say thank you properly?"

"It's my job. You are very welcome." Meredith smiles kindly. "It's been a pleasure to be here, though our odd beginning. Good luck with your careers and-"

"That's not what I mean." She approaches to the stage. "I am Cindy. Fancy a makeover?"

"Oh!" Meredith hesitates, glancing at her wristwatch. "I couldn't. I mean that's very kind of you-"

"Don't take it personally," says Cindy politely. "But you need it. Your eyes are red and puffy. Did you get enough sleep last night?"

"Oh." Meredith stiffens. "Yes. Yes, I did, thanks. Plenty of sleep."

"Well, in this case you need some different eye cream. Whatever you're using really isn't working."

She's peering closely at Meredith's face her. "And your nose is red. You haven't been... crying?"

" _Crying_?" Meredith tries not to sound too defensive. "Of course not!"

Cindy has ushered her into a plastic chair and is gently patting the skin round Meredith's eyes.

"I am sorry but your skin is in a terrible state." She beckons over a couple of friends, who pull equally dismayed faces at the sight of her eyes.

"Well, I've no idea why that is." Meredith aims for an easy smile."None. None at all."

"You must have an allergy to something. Or you use the wrong makeup, can you show me?"

Meredith reaches for her bag and pull the zip open , but it's stuck.

"Let me," says Cindy and reaches for it before Meredith can stop her. _Shit_. She doesn't want anyone seeing the massive chocolate bar she brought with her that morning and half consumed while waiting for George (it was a moment of weakness.)

"Don't worry, I'll do it." Meredith exclaims, grabbing it back. But Cindy's hand is already wrenching open the zip and so the whole thing gets jostled and jerked and the half-chocolate bar has been tossed out of the bag, together with a mostly drunk miniature bottle of white wine (further moment of weakness) and the shreds of a ripped-up picture of Finn (even further moment of weakness).

"Sorry!" Cindy says in horror, gathering the shreds. "I am so sorry! What's-" She looks more closely. "Is that a photo? What happened to it?"

"Here's your chocolate," volunteers anther girl.

Meredith wants to die. After her inspiring speech all these girls are facing her secret weakness. As Finn's eye is staring at her out of a fragment of the picture, she feels her insides heave with sudden grief. She can detect a few meaningful looks passing among the girls, but she doesn't have any words. She cannot find a noble and inspirational way out this one.

Cindy turns and surveys her bloodshot eyes again, then she springs into life and starts stuffing all the things back into Meredith's bag.

"Anyway," she says briskly, "the most important thing right now is making you look totally fabulous. Are you up for it?"

* * *

As her face is brushed and penciled by Cindy and her fellow students, Meredith is in a state of near bliss. They've sprayed her face with foundation and put rollers in her hair and they keep changing their mind about which eye look to give her, but Meredith is barely listening. She is in trance and doesn't care if she'll be late back to her office. She keeps drifting off to sleep and half waking up and her mind is swirl of dream and color and thought.

Every time she finds herself thinking about Finn, she wrenches her mind away. She's going to be okay, she just needs to take her own advice and find a new mission. Maybe she should travel.

Her thoughts keep drifting back to Ikonos. It was an amazing summer, indeed. At least until the fire happened, the police arrived and everything disbanded in chaos. She was so young. She was so thin. She lived in cutoff shorts and string-bikini top. She had beads in her hair. And of course there was Derek, her first proper boyfriend. Her first relationship. Dark hair and crinkly blue eyes and the smell of sweat and salt. God, how much sex did they have? Three times a day, at least. And when they weren't having sex, they were thinking about sex. It was insane, like a kind of drug.

Wait. Wait a minute.

 _Derek_?

Meredith's eyes pop open and Cindy cries in dismay: "Keep still!"

It couldn't be.

"Sorry." She blinks, trying to stay composed. "Actually... can we pause a moment? I need to make a call."

She turns away, rummages for her phone and presses Kayla's speed dial, telling herself not to be stupid. It cannot be him. Obviously it's not him.

"Meredith, hi," comes Kayla's voice. "Everything okay?"

Why would he be calling after all this time? It's been fifteen years, for God's sake. They haven't been in touch since... since then.

"Hey Kayla. I just wanted the number of that guy Derek. The one who called yesterday while I was out, remember?"

"Oh yes. Hold on... Here we are." She dictates a mobile phone number. "Who is he?"

"I'm not sure... You are positive he didn't give a surname?"

"No, just Derek."

Meredith rings off and stare at the number. Just Derek. _Just Derek_. It cannot be him.

How many people are there in the world called Derek? About five zillion. Precisely.

 _Just Derek_.

But that's the thing. That's why her breath is coming just a little short and she is instinctively sitting up straight in a more attractive manner. Who would call himself like that except her old boyfriend?

She punches the number, closes her eyes tight and waits. The ringing tone sounds. And again. And again.

"Derek Shepherd." There's a pause. "Hello? It's Derek Shepherd. Is anyone there?"

Meredith can't talk. Her stomach is doing a little dance.

It's him.

* * *

The first thing to say is that Meredith looks fabulous. The second thing is, she is not going to sleep with him.

No. No, she is not. Even though she has been thinking about it all day. Even though she has been gently fizzing just at the memory. Him. How it was. How they were together. She feels surreal and a bit light-headed. She can't believe she's going to see him. After all this time. Derek. She means, _Derek_!

Hearing his voice was like some sort of time-travel trigger. At once she was sitting opposite him at that rickety little table they used to commandeer in the evening. Olive trees all around. Her bare feet resting in his lap. A can of ice-cold Sprite. She had forgotten about her Sprite addiction until that very instant.

Since the, memories and images have been resurfacing all day, some vague and some fully composed. His eyes. His scent. He was always so _intense_. That's what she remembers most. His intensity. He made her feel as though they were starring in their own movie, as though nothing mattered except him and her and now. It was all about _sensation_. The sensation of him. Of sun and sweat. Sea and sand. Skin and skin. Everything was hot and heightened and... incredible.

And this, fifteen years later, this is- well. Bizarre. She glances at her watch and feels a little shiver of anticipation. Enough loitering in shop entrance. It's time to go.

They're meeting at a new fish restaurant in Ballard, which has had good reviews. Apparently Derek works nearby, doing something or other, Meredith didn't ask, which was stupid, so she had to resort to a hasty Google when she finally got back to the office.

She couldn't track him down on Facebook, but there was some website about a paper company, which apparently he's a director of. She is kind of surprised, since he wanted to be an actor when they were together, but she guesses it didn't work or maybe he just changed his mind. They didn't talk too much about careers or jobs back then. They were pretty busy with sex and how they were going to change the world. She does remember lots of late-night discussions on Brecht, who he was reading, and Chekhov, who she was reading. And global warming. And philanthropy. And politics. And euthanasia.

She approaches the restaurant, teetering a bit on her new high heels, feeling her hair bounce around her shoulders and admiring her immaculate manicure. As soon as Cindy and her friends heard Meredith was going on a date with an ex-boyfriend, they launched into a whole new level of activity. They did her nails. They dyed her brows. They even offered her a bikini wax. Of course, she didn't need that. She'd already been to the salon three days earlier, to get prepared for hot, joyous, post-proposal sex with Finn. Total waste of money.

She suddenly feels a painful, humiliated pang. She should invoice him for the salon bill. She should send it to him in San Francisco, together with a dignified letter saying simply, _Dear Finn. When you get this letter-_

No. stop it, Meredith. Do not think about Finn. Move on, move on, move on.

She grips her clutch bag more tightly, willing strength into herself. Everything is meant. It all has a pattern. One minute she is at her lowest ebb- the next, Derek is contacting her. It's fate. It's karma.

Although she is _not_ going to sleep with him. Nope. She is not.

As she reaches the entrance to the restaurant, she whips out her handbag mirror and check her reflection one last time. Bloody hell: she keeps forgetting how great she looks. Her skin looks radiant. She has stunning new cheekbones, which Cindy somehow invented with bluster and highlighter. Her lips look fresh and luscious. To sum up: she is gorgeous.

It's the opposite of nightmare scenario where you bump into your ex-boyfriend, wearing only pajamas and a hangover. It's a dream scenario. She has never looked better in her life, and she is fairly sure she never will again. Not unless she hires ten makeup artists.

With a sudden little burst of confidence, she pushes open the restaurant door, to be greeted by a warm, inviting smell of garlic and seafood. There are leather booths and a massive chandelier and the right kind of hubbub. Not show-offy and obnoxious but civilized and friendly. A mixologist is shaking a cocktail at the bar and Meredith has an instant desire for a mojito.

She is not going to get drunk, she hastily resolves. She is not going to sleep with him ans she is not going to get drunk.

The maitre is approaching her. Here goes.

"Good afternoon. I am here to meet a... a friend. He reserved a table. Derek Shepherd?"

"Of course." He smiles and leads her a winding route through the restaurant, past about ten tables at which possible men are sitting with their faces averted. Each time, her stomach heaves with apprehension. Is that him? Is that him? Please _not_ that one!

Oh goodness! Meredith almost squeaks. Here he is, rising from his chair. Stay cool. Smile. This is so, so, _so_ surreal.

Her eyes are running over him, registering details at top speed. Slightly odd patterned shirt, he is taller than sh remembers. Thinner. His face is definitely thinner and his dark wavy hair is shorter now. There's a hole in his ear where his earring used to be.

"Well... hi there!" She greets him.

Meredith is satisfied at the way she sounds so understated. Especially since a bubble of excitement is growing inside her right now that she has had a proper view. Look at him! He is handsome! Just like he always was, but better. More grown-up, less gawky.

He leans for a kiss. A grown-up, civilized double kiss. Then he draws back and surveys her.

"Meredith. You look... incredible."


	4. Chapter 4

**_Here you are the fourth chapter! It's a little longer than I expected but it is the highest point of this story. From now, everything is going to change. I hope you'll like it and that Derek won't be very OOC._**

 ** _Thank you for your kind support and your awesome comments! Please, keep reviewing, it's only for you that I am writing this story._**

 ** _Enjoy!_**

* * *

" _Meredith. You look... incredible."_

"You look pretty good yourself, Derek."

"You haven't aged a day!"

"Same goes!"

They are both beaming at each other in a kind of amazed joy, like someone who's won a raffle and come up to collect a dodgy box of chocolates as a prize and found out it's actually a thousand dollars in cash. They cannot believe their luck.

Actually, a lot can change in almost twenty years.

"So." Derek gestures charmingly at her chair and Meredith sits down. "How have the last fifteen years been?"

"Fine, thanks." She laughs. "What about you?"

"Can't complain." He meets her eyes with the same mischievous grin he always had. "Okay, that's the catch-up done. You want a drink? Don't tell me you are a teetotal now!"

"Are you kidding? I've always been a tequila kind of girl. And I am still!" Meredith smiles. This is going to be a great, great evening.

Two hours later, she is buzzing all over. She is exhilarated. Derek and Meredith are amazing together.

Okay, Meredith hasn't stuck to her resolution regarding alcohol. But that was a ridiculous and stupid resolution. Dinner with an ex-boyfriend is potentially quite a tense, sticky situation. That could have been awkward. As it is, with a few cocktails down her, Meredith is having the best evening of her whole life.

What's amazing is how connected Derek and Meredith are. It's as though they have picked up exactly where they left off, as if the last fifteen years never happened. They're eighteen again. Or, at least, Meredith is eighteen again. Derek is five years older than her. They are again young and big-eyed, sharing wild idea and silly jokes and wanting to explore everything the world has to offer.

Derek immediately started telling her about a play he'd seen the week before, and Meredith countered with an art exhibition in New York (she didn't mention that Finn actually took her), and their conversation has been flying since then. There's so much to say. There are so many memories. They haven't done the tedious list of who-what-when. They haven't exchanged job details, previous relationships, any of that boring crap.

Meredith knows he is single. Derek knows she is single. That is the only update they needed.

Derek has drunk quite a lot more than she has. And he also remembers much more than she does about their time in Greece. He keeps sparking old memories which she'd buried. They've talked about that fishing boat sinking and about that night they played table tennis with those two Australian guys.

"The calamari." Meredith closes her eyes briefly. "I've never had calamari like that in my life."

"And the sunsets," chimes in Derek. "Remember the sunsets?"

"I'll never forget."

"And Richard." He grins reminiscently. "What a character."

Richard was the guest house owner. They all worshiped him and hung on his every word. He was the mos mellow guy Meredith has ever met, fiftyish or maybe older, who'd done everything from attending Harvard to founding his own company and going bust to sailing round the world and ending up on Ikonos, where he married a local girl. He would sit every night in the olive grove, getting gently stoned and telling people about the time he had lunch with Bill Clinton and turned down his job offer. He'd so many adventures. He was so wise.

"Remember the steps?"

"The steps!" Meredith groans. "How did we do it?"

The guest house was set on top of a cliff. To get down to or up from the beach, it was 113 steps, set into the cliff. They used to spring up and down several times a day. No wonder she was so thin.

"Do you remember those old videos of _Dirk and Sally_?"

" _Dirk and Sally_!" She exclaims. "Oh my goodness!"

" _Partners at the altar, partners on the block,_ " begins Derek in a corny voice-over voice.

" _Partners to the death!_ " Meredith joins in, doing the _Dirk and Sally_ arm salute.

Derek and she watched every singe _Dirk and Sally_ episode about five thousand times, mostly because it was the only box set of videos at the guest house and they had to have something different from Greek news while they were eating their breakfast in the mornings. It's a 1970s detective show about a couple who meet while they're at the police school and decide to keep theur marriage secret while fighting crime as partners.

Meredith has a sudden memory of sitting with Derek on the old sofa in the dining room, their tanned legs tangled up, both wearing espadrillas, eating toast and watching _Dirk and Sally_ , while everyone else was out on the terrace.

"No one I've ever met has seen _Dirk and Sally_ ," says Derek. "Or even heard of it."

"Me neither," Meredith agrees.

"The cove." His thoughts have moved restlessly on again.

"The cove. Oh my God." Meredith meets his eyes and it all comes flooding back. She is almost transfixed again with hos, teenage-level desire. The secret cove was where they first got it together. And then again. Every day. It was a little tiny sheltered stretch of sand round the bay. They had to get there by boat, and no one else could be bothered. Derek would sail them there, saying nothing but occasionally flicking her a meaningful look. And she would sit there, her feet up on the side of the boat, almost panting with anticipation.

She looks at him now, across the table. Derek is thinking exactly the same as her, she can tell. He's back there. He looks as intoxicated as she feels.

"The way you nursed me trough the flu," he says slowly. "I've never forgotten that. You cradled my head. You sang me to sleep. I was delirious, but I could hear your voice, getting me through the night." He takes another swing of wine. "You were my guardian angel, Meredith. Maybe I went off the rails because I didn't have you in my life."

 _His guardian angel._ That's so romantic. Meredith is quite interested to know how he went off the rails- but to ask him would spoil the moment. And who cares? Everyone goes off the rails. Then thay come back on the rails. It doesn't matter what they were doing meanwhile.

Now he glances at her left hand. "How come you haven't been snapped up, anyway?"

"I haven't met the right guy." Meredith shrugs casually.

"A gorgeous girl like you? Should be fighting them off!"

"Well, maybe I have been." Meredith laughs, but for the first time this evening her composure slips a little.

And all of sudden, she can't help but have a flashback to the first time she met Finn, at the opera.

"Oh God." Derek is peering at her. "I am sorry, I must have said something. What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Meredith smiles hastily and blinks. "Just... everything. You know. Life."

"Exactly. _Exactly_." He nods fervently as though she has solved some massive problem he was wrestling with. "Mer, do you feel as fucked up by life as I do?"

"Yes." She takes a deep slug of her tequila. "Yes, I do. Even more so."

"When I was twenty-three, when we were out there, I knew what I was about." Derek is staring moodily into space. "I had clarity. Bout then you start life and somehow it all gets... corroded. Corrupted. Everything closes in on you, you know what I mean? There's no escape. There's no way to say, _Just stop a fucking moment. Let me work out what I want_."

"Totally." She nods.

"That was the highest point of my life. Greece. You. The whole deal." He looks gripped by the memory. "Just the two of us, together. Everything was so simple. There was no shit. Is the same for you? Was that the best time of your life too?"

Her mind does a hazy rewind over the last fifteen years. There have been a few high points here and there, but in general she has to agree. She was eighteen. She was hot. She could drink all night with no hangover. When has life ever been better?

Meredith nods slowly: "Best time ever."

" _Why_ didn't we stay together, Meredith? _Why_ didn't we keep in touch?"

"Stanford-New York," she shrugs. "New York-Stanford. _Impossible geography_."

"I know. But that was a crap reason."He looks angry. "We were idiots."

They had the "impossible geography" conversation many, many times on the island. He had just graduated at Columbia University and was going back to New York, in order to work at his father's company. Meredith, on the other hand, was going back to Seattle and then she enrolled at Stanford.

It was only a matter of time before it ended. There was no point trying keeping things going beyond the summer. The days after the fire were awkward and weird. Everything started falling apart. They were all billeted in different guest houses, all over the island. People's parents swooped in. some actually arrived on the next boat, with money, clothes and replacement passports. Sadie, Meredith's friend, left to Australia, where her mother used to live at that time. The party was over.

"Weren't we planning to meet once in Los Angeles?" It comes back to Meredith in a flash. "But then you had to go to San Diego with your father."

"That's right." He exhales sharply. "I should have bailed out on him. I should have switched to Stanford." His eyes suddenly focus on her. "I've never met anyone like you, Meredith. Sometimes I think what an idiot I was to let you go. What a fucking stupid idiot."

Her stomach turns an almighty somersault and she almost chokes her tequila. At the back of her mind, she was kind of hoping he could say something along these lines. But not so soon. His blue eyes are boring into her expectantly.

"Me too," she says at last and takes a forkful of her salmon.

"Don't tell me you've had a relationship better than ours. Because I sure as hell haven't." Derek bangs the table with his fist. "Maybe we got our priorities screwed up. Maybe we should have said, _Fuck university, we're staying together_. Who knows what might have happened? We were good together, Meredith. Maybe we've wasted the last fifteen years not being together. Don't you ever think that?"

His speed is taking her breath away. She doesn't know how to react, so she stuffs some more salmon into her mouth.

"We might be married by now. We might have kids. Mi life might make sense." He's almost talking to himself.

"Do you want kids?" She says before she can stop herself.

She cannot believe she has just asked a guy on a first date if he wants kids. She should be struck off. Except... this is not a first date. If it's anything, it's a millionth date. And he mentioned them first. And, anyway, it's not a date at all. So.

"Yes, I want kids." His intent gaze lands on her again. "I'm ready for a family, prams, going to the park, all that shit."

"Me too." She feels tears spring to her eyes. "I am ready for a family, too."

"Remember the pact?" His question takes her by surprise.

No way. Adrenaline had flooded her body. Her lungs are squeezed so tight, she can't breathe. She didn't think he'd remember the pact. She wasn't going to brig it up. It was a teeny, tiny, jokey promise they made once. It was nothing. It was ridiculous.

"Should we exercise it?" he's looking at her frankly. She thinks he might be half serious. Or serious. No. He _can't_ be serious-

"Bit late," she manages, her throat tight. "We said if we were unmarried at thirty. I'm thirty-three and you are thirty-eight."

"Better late than never." She feels a fresh jolt. His foot has found hers under the table and he's edging off her shoe. "My flat's nearby," he murmurs. Now his hand is taking hers. Her skin starts tingling over. It's like muscle memory. Sex memory. She knows where they're heading.

But... but... is that where she wants to head? What's going on there? _Think_ , Meredith.

"Would you care to see the dessert menu?" The waiter's voice snaps her over of her trance. Her head jerks up and she takes the chance to whip her hand away from Derek.

"Er... Thanks." She scans the dessert menu, her cheeks beating with blood, her mind circling furiously. What does she do now? A little voice inside her head is telling her to rein in. she's totally playing this wrong. She's making a mistake. She has a terrible sense of déjà vu, of things following the same old pattern. All her long-term relationships have started like this. Handòholding over a table. Pulses racing over her body. Nice underwear, everything waxed and hot, inventive, fabulous sex. The point is: the beginning is never the problem. It's afterward. She is feeling a strange conviction she has never felt before. She needs to change everything she's doing. Break the pattern. But how? Derek has taken her hand again and is kissing the inside of her wrist, but she ignores him. She wants to marshal her thoughts.

"What's wrong?" He looks up, his mouth against her skin. "You're tense. Meredith, don't fight it. This is meant to happen. You and me. You know how it is."

His eyes have that languorous, drunken sexy look she remembers. She's already feeling turned on. She could surrender and have a sizzling, delicious night to cheer herself up. She deserves it, after all. But what if there's a chance of more than a great night? How should she play this? What does she do?

"Derek, you have to understand." She pulls her arm away again. "It's not like when we were young, okay? I don't want just a shag. I want... other things. I want marriage. I want commitment. I want to plan a life together with someone. Children, the whole lot."

"So do I!" He says impatiently. "Weren't you listening? It should have been you all along." His eyes are burning into her. "Meredith. I never stopped loving you."

He loves her! She feels a rush of tears and, looking at him, it comes to her that she never stopped loving him either. Maybe she didn't realize it, because it was a kind of low-level, steady love. Like a background hum. And now it's swelling back up into full-blown passion.

"Nor did I," she says, her voice trembling with sudden conviction. "I've loved you for fifteen years."

"Fifteen years." He's clinging to her hand. "We were insane to let each other go."

The romance of it all is overwhelming her. Talk about a story to tell at a wedding reception. _We were apart for fifteen years, but then we found each other again_.

"We have to make up for lost time." He crushes her fingers to his mouth. "Darling Meredith. My love."

His words are like a balm. The feeling of his lips on her skin is almost unbearably delicious. For an instant she closes her eyes. But, no! Alarm bells are ringing.

"Stop!" She whips her hand away. "Don't! Derek, I know this will play out and I cannot bear it. Not again."

"What are you talking about?" He stares at me, baffled. "All I did was kiss your fingers."

After the waiter has brushed away the crumbles from the table, she launches in again, her voice lowered and trembling.

"I've been here before. I know what happens. You kiss my fingers, I kiss yours. We have sex. It's awesome. We have more sex. We're besotted. We go on mini-breaks to the Hamptons. Maybe we buy a sofa together. And then suddenly it's two years later and we should be getting married... but somehow we don't. We've gone off the boil. We argue and we break up. It's hideous."

Her throat is tight. It's so miserable and so sad.

Derek looks bewildered by the scenario she has painted.

"Okay," he says later, eying her warily. "Well- What if we don't go off the boil?"

"We do! It's the law! It always happens!" She exclaims, her eyes full of tears. "I've gone off the boil with too many guys. I _know_."

"There's a good reason you went off the boil with those guys." Derek tries. "They weren't the right ones. But I am!"

"Who says you are the right guy?"

"Because... because... Oh God! What will it take?" He runs his fingers through his perfect hair. "Okay! You win. We'll do it the old-fashioned way. Meredith, will you marry me?"

" _Excuse me_? Shut up!" She scowls. "You don't have to make fun of me."

"I mean it! Will you marry me?"

"Ah Ah. Funny."

"Will you marry me?"

"Stop it!"

"Will. You. Marry. Me?" Now he's speaking more loudly. A couple at the next table look over and smile.

"Shush!" She says. "It's not funny."

To her utter shock, he gets out his seat, kneels down and clasps his hands. Meredith can see other diners turning to watch.

"Meredith Grey," he begins, swaying slightly. "I've spent fifteen years chasing pale imitations of you, and now I'm back here with the original I should never have let you go. My life has been darkness without you and now I want to switch on the light. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

He's actually proposing.

"You are drunk." She parries.

"Not that drunk! Will you marry me?"

"But I don't know you anymore!" She gives a half laugh. "I don't know what you do for living, I don't know where you live, I don't know what you want in life-"

"Paper supply. I moved to Bellevue almost two years ago. To be as happy as I was when I was with you. To wake up every morning and shag your brain out. To make babies who have your eyes. Meredith I know it's been years, but it's still me. It's still Derek." His eyes crinckle in the way they always did. "Will you marry me?"

Meredith stares at him, breathing hard, her head is ringing. This is beyond all her fantasies.

He wants to get married! He wants kids! A noise is playing at the back of her mind. She thinks it could be violin music. Maybe this is it!

She takes a swag of water and tries to fight a way through her swirling thoughts. Let's be sensible. Let's just think this through carefully. Did they ever argue? no. Was he a good company? Yes. Does she fancy him? Hell, yeah. Is there anything else she needs to know about a potential husband?

"Do you have any nipples pierced?" She asks with sudden foreboding. Pierced nipples really aren't her thing.

"Not one." Ben spreads his arms. "All you need to do is say _Yes_."

Maybe she spends most of her life messing things up because they think too much. Let's not overthink this one. Fuck it, they have wasted enough time. Her head is whirling. She tries to stay rational, bout she's losing her footing. Is this real? Is he just talking her to bed? Is this the most romantic moment of her life or is she an idiot?

"I... I think so," she says at last.

"You think so?"

"Just... give me a moment."

She grabs her purse and heads to the Ladies'; she has to think. Clearly. Or at least as clearly as she can.

It could work. She's sure it could work. But how can she make it work? How can she not fall into the same old patters as all her my other dead-end, fizzle,out relationships?

Her mind starts ranging over other first dates with other boyfriends. Other beginnings.

How can she do differently? What can she not do that she normally does?

Suddenly she recalls the words of that mad old woman in the restroom of Space Needle restaurant.

" _Men are like animals. As soon as they catch their prey, they eat it and then they fall asleep."_

Maybe she wasn't so mad after all. Maybe she had something. Abruptly, the answer comes to her. She, Meredith Grey, is going to reverse the pattern. She is going to the opposite of what she had done with all her previous boyfriends.

She meets her eyes in the mirror and she looks a little wild. If she was exhilarated before, she is euphoric now. She feels like a scientist who's discovered a new, game-changing subatomic particle. She is right. She knows she is right.

She strides back into the restaurant, staggering a little in her heels, and approaches the table.

"No sex." She says firmly.

"What?"

"Until we're married. No sex." She sits down. "Take it or leave it."

"What?" Derek looks flabbergasted, but she just smiles serenely back. She is brilliant. If he really loves her, he'll wait. And there'll be no chance of anyone going off the boil. None. And the best part is, they'll have the hottest honeymoon ever. They'll be connected and united and blissed out. Exactly like honeymooners should be. Meredith pictures him naked, in some gorgeous hotel bed, surrounded by rose petals. Just the idea makes her quiver.

"You're kidding." His face has completely dropped. "Why?"

"Because I want things to be different. I want to break the rules. I love you, yes? You love me? We want to make a life together?"

"For fifteen years I've loved you." He shakes his head. "Fifteen _fucking_ years, we wasted, Meredith-"

She can tell he's going to start another speech.

"So." She cuts him off. "We wait a bit longer. And then we can have our wedding night. A proper wedding night. Think about it. We'll both be gagging for it by then. Absolutely... gagging." She reaches under the table with her bare foot and slowly walks it up the inside of his leg. His face is transfixed. For a moment neither of then talk. Let's say they're communicating in a different way.

"Actually..." he says at last, his voice thick. "That could be fun."

"A lot of fun." Meredith nods eagerly. She unbuttons her top a couple of notches and leas forward, giving him maximum view of her uplift bra. Her other foot is moving up to his crotch now. Derek seems unable to speak as something is stirring below his belt. "Remember the night of your birthday?" She says huskily. "On the beach? We could reprise that."

if they reprise that, she is wearing protective knee guards. She had scabs for a week. As if he's reading her mind, Derek closes his eyes and groans: "You're killing me."

"It'll be amazing."

"Do you know how hot you are? Do you realize how badly I want to get under this table right now?"

He grabs her hand and starts nibbling at the tip of her thumb. But this time Meredith doesn't move away. Her entire body seems wired to the feel of his lips and teeth on her skin. She wants them everywhere.

"Wedding night, huh?" He says at last. Meredith bare foot is still massaging the inside of his thigh and she can feel he's enjoying it. All still in working, then.

"Wedding night." She nods.

"You realize I'll die of frustration meanwhile?"

"Me too. And then I'll explode."

Meredith gasps as he suckled her thumb. They need to leave soon, before the waiter will be telling them to get a room. And when Finn hears about his-

No, Meredith. Don't go there. This has nothing to do with Finn. It's fate she knows all that is rushed, but it feels so right. And if there's still a soreness deep in her heart, then this is like some magical soothing lotion. She was meant to break up with Finn. She was meant to be miserable. The karma for her suffering is that now she gets a wedding ring and the hottest sex of her life.

His eyes are glazed and Meredith is breathing more and more heavily. She's not sure she can stand this.

"When shall we get married?"

"Soon." He sounds desperate. "Really, really soon."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Here we are with the fifth chapter! Things are becoming more and more interesting and I hope you'll never get bored with this story. Thank you for your comments and your support, as always. You are the best!**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter and... Review, review, review!**_

 _ **Oh! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who celebrate!**_

* * *

 _Two weeks later..._

Lexie hopes Meredith is okay. She has been away for two weeks and she hasn't heard one word from her. She hasn't answered any of her sister's friendly texts and the last phone call they had was when Meredith was planning to fly to San Francisco and surprise Finn. Lexie has tried leaving voicemails, but no response. She even managed to get through Meredith's intern, who assured her that her sister was going to work everyday- so at least Lexie knows she's alive and well.

She sends her another text, before putting her BlackBerry away and surveying the playground. It's thronging with parents, children, nannies, dogs and toddlers. It's the first day of term, so there are lots of tanned faces and shiny shoes and new haircuts.

"Lexie!" A voice greets her as Lexie and James get out of her car. It's Teddy, another mother. She's clutching a Tupperware container in one hand and a dog leash in the other, at the end of which her Labrador is itching to get away. Teddy is one of the few moms who doesn't look down on her, only because she is a working mom. An almost divorced working mom. According to Lexie it's odd that in 2015, moms must still choose between children and a career.

"Good morning!" Teddy cheers. "How are you? Hi James!"

As they walk toward the school entrance she adds: "That bloody travel project! I was up at five a.m. finishing that off! Up your street, I suppose, travel!"

"What travel project?"

"You know, the art thing?" She gestures to the container. "We did a plane. Actually we just covered a toy with silver foil. Hardly homemade, but I said to Charlie that Mrs. Bailey wouldn't know there's a toy underneath."

"What travel project?" Lexie says it again, frowning.

" _You_ know! Make a vehicle or whatever. They're showing them all off at assembly... Zach, come on! The bell's rung!"

As Lexie approaches Mrs. Bailey, she can see another mother, standing in front of her and holding out a model of a cruise ship. It's perfect. Lexie stares at it, speechless in awe.

"I am so sorry, Mrs. Bailey. Some of the paint is still wet. We've had such fun making it, haven't we, Tiffany?"

"Good morning, Mrs. Avery," calls out Mrs. Bailey cheerfully. "Nice holiday?"

 _Mrs. Avery_. It sets her teeth on edge every time Lexie is addresses this way. She hasn't got round to becoming Mrs. Grey for school purposes. The truth is she is unsure what to do. Lexie doesn't want to unsettle James. She doesn't want to make a big deal of rejecting his surname. Lexie likes having the same name as James. It feels homey and right. She simply hates sharing it with her ex-husband, too. She should have chosen a brand new surname when he was born. Just for the two of them. Divorce-proof.

"Mommy, did you bring the hot-air balloon?" James is peering up at her anxiously. "Have we got the air balloon?"

Lexie stares at him blankly, having no idea what he's talking about.

"James told us he was making a hot-air balloon. Super idea!" Mrs. Bailey descends on them, beaming. She is a woman in her forties, who lives in tapered trousers. She is cool and unhurried, severe, yet lovely with her children. Lexie feels like a gabbling lunatic next to her. Now her eyes rest on Lexie's empty hands. "Do you have it?"

"Not on me."

"Ah." Mrs. Bailey's smiles fades. "Well, if there's any chance you could get it to us this morning, Mrs. Avery, we're setting up the display for assembly."

"Right! Of course!" Lexie flashes her a confident smile. "I just need to... One tiny detail. Let me just talk to Jamie a moment." She draws him away and bends down. "Which hot-air balloon, sweetie?"

"My hot-air balloon for the travel project," says James, as though it's obvious. "We have to brig them today."

"Right." It's nearly killing her, staying bright and breezy. "I didn't know you had a project, sweetie. You never mentioned it."

"I forgot." He nods. "But we had a letter!"

"What happened to this letter, I never saw it."

James thinks about it and eventually his face lightens up. "Daddy put it in his fruit bowl."

Lexie knew it. She feels a volcanic surge of fury.

"Obviously. I see." She grinds her fingernails into her palms. "Daddy didn't tell me there was a project. What a pity."

"And we talked about what to make and Daddy said we could make an hot-air balloon. It's cool!" His eyes start to gleam. "Daddy says we would get a balloon and cover it with paper and make a basket and people. And ropes. And paint it. And the people could be Captain America. I love Captain America!" His little cheeks are glowing with excitement, while Lexie's heart sinks.

"Has he made it?" He looks at his mom expectantly. "Have you got it?"

"I'll just... check." Her smile feels glued into place. "Play on the climbing frame a moment."

She steps away and speed-dial Jackson.

"Jackson Ave-"

"It's Lexie." she cuts him off evenly. "Are you by any chance speeding toward the school of your son holding an hot-air balloon with Captain America in the basket?"

There's quite a long pause.

"Oh," He says at last. "Shit. Sorry."

Lexie wants to kill him. He doesn't sound remotely concerned.

"No! It doesn't work in this way! You cannot do this, Jackson! It's not fair on James and it's not fair on me and-"

"Lexie, relax. It's just some little school project."

"It's not little! To James, your son, it's huge! It's... You are-" She breaks off, breathing fast. He'll never get it. There's no point wasting breath. She is on her own. "Fine, Jackson. Whatever. I'll sort it."

She switches off before he can answer. She is feeling a red heat of determination. She is not going to let James down. He's going to have his hot-air balloon. She can do it.

She bleeps in he car and snaps up the lid of her briefcase. She has got a tiny cardboard gift bag in there, from some fancy lunch. That can be the basket. Shoelaces out of her gym crosstrainers will be the ropes. She grabs a sheet of paper and a pen from her briefcase and beckons James.

"I'm just going to finish off our cool hot-air balloon," she says brightly. "Why don't you draw Captain America to put in the basket?"

As James starts drawing, leaning on the car seat, Lexie swiftly take out her shoelaces. They're brown and speckled. They'll make perfect ropes. She has got some Scotch tape in her glove compartment. And for the balloon itself...

Bloody hell. What can she use? It's not like she travels around with packets of balloons, on the off chance of that-

A ridiculous, unspeakable idea grabs her. She could always uses-

No. no way. She can't...

Five minutes later, Lexie approaches Mrs. Bailey, nonchalantly holding her son's project. The mothers standing around gradually fall silent. In fact, it feels as if the whole playground has fallen silent.

"That's Captain America!" James is pointing to the basket proudly. "I drew him."

All the children are looking at Captain America. All their mothers are looking at the balloon. It's a blown-up condom. It inflated to quite an impressive size, and the teat on the end is bobbing in the breeze. Lexie actually forgot about the packet of condoms lying in the glove compartment of her car.

It was a gift from Molly, when during Christmas Holidays Lexie had a date with her lawyer's friend. Her younger sister joked about her need to release her tension and the actually meaning of her sentence was that she needed sex. In fact, Lexie can barely remember the last time she slept with anyone, since she has lived as a nun after breaking up with Jackson. So the packet of condoms has lain intact in her car until now.

Lexie hears a sudden snort from Teddy, but when she looks around sharply, all she can see are innocent expressions.

"Goodness, James," says Mrs. Bailey faintly. "What a big... balloon!"

"That's obscene," snaps the mom with the perfect ship. "This is a school, in case you've forgotten. There are children here."

"And as far as they're concerned, this is a perfectly innocent balloon." Lexie retorts. "My husband let me down." She turns apologetically to Mrs. Bailey. "I didn't have much time."

"It's very good, Mrs. Avery!" Mrs. Bailey rallies herself. "What a creative use of..."

"What if it bursts?"

"I've got spares!" Lexie shoots back triumphantly and proffer the rest of her condom variety pack.

"I think we'll be able to find a balloon for James in the classroom." Mrs. Bailey chimes in. "You'd keep those for yourself, for.." She hesitates, clearly searching for a way to finish her sentence.

"Absolutely." Lexie hastily heads her off. "Good idea. I'll use them for... exactly. That. I mean, not. Anyway... so I'll take those away now. And use them for some other purpose or other."

She stuffs the condoms back in her bag, as all the other mother are staring jaw-dropped.

"I hope the assembly goes well. Have a lovely day, Jamie!" Lexie hands him the hot-air balloon with a kiss, then swivels her heels and marches away, breathing hard. She waits until she's on the road, then dials Alex from the car phone.

"Alex." She launches in. "You won't believe what Jackson just did. James had a school project which Jackson didn't say a single word about-"

"Lexie," says Alex patiently. "Calm down."

"I had to hand a blown-up condom to my son's teacher! It was supposed to be an hot-air balloon!" She can hear Alex bursting into laughter down the line. "It wasn't funny! He's an asshole! He pretends to care, but he's totally selfish. He lets James down-"

"Lexie." Alex's voice is suddenly harder and stops her in her tracks. "This has to stop."

"What has to stop?"

"The daily rant. I'm going to say something to you now, as an old friend. If you keep going on like this, you'll drive everyone insane, including yourself. Shit happens, okay?"

"But-"

"It happens, Lexie," he pauses. "And it doesn't help to stir it up again and again. You need to move on. Get a life. Stop updating the file about the whole sorry Jackson story on your memory stick. And stop wearing that memory stick like a necklace."

Her memory stick is Lexie's comfort blanket; it's clipped on a chain round her neck and she never separates from it.

"But I want to keep a dossier of every single incident! If the judge knew what Jackson was really like..."

"The judge does know what he's like."

"But-"

"Lexie you're having the Divorce Fantasy," replies Alex tranquilly. "What have I told you about the Divorce Fantasy?"

There's silence. Lexie hates the way Alex can read her mind. She has known Alex Karev since high school, and although he costs a bomb even on mates' rates, she never considered going to anyone else. Now he's waiting for her to answer, like a teacher in class.

"The Divorce Fantasy will never happen." She mumbles finally.

" _Exactly_." He says with emphasis. "The judge will never read a two-hundred-page dossier on Jackson shortcomings aloud in court, while a crowd jeers at your ex-husband. He will never start his summing up saying, _Ms. Grey, you're a saint to have put up with such an evil scumbag and I thus award you everything you want_."

Lexie blushes. That is pretty much her Divorce Fantasy. Except in her version, the crowd throws bottles at Jackson too.

"Jackson will never admit to being wrong." Alex presses on relentlessly.

"I know."

"Do you, Lexie?" Alex sounds skeptical. "Are you sure about that? Or are you still expecting him to wake up one day and realize all the bad things he's done? Because you have to understand, Jackson will never realize anything. He'll never confess to being a terrible human being. I could spend a thousand hours on this case, it would still never happen."

"But it's so unfair." She can feel a ball of frustration. "He _is_ a terrible human being."

"I know. He's a shit. So don't dwell on him. Flush him out of your life. Gone."

"It's not as easy as that," Lexie mutters after a pause. "He is the father of my child."

"I know," says Alex more gently. "I didn't say it was easy."

"I wish I could just… I dunno." She sighs heavily. "Wave a magic wand and our marriage never

happened. Except James. I'd keep James and the rest would all be a bad dream."

"You want an annulment, that's what you want," says Alex cheerfully.

"An annulment? Is that a real thing?"

"Real enough. It means the contract is null and void. The marriage never existed. You'd be amazed

how many clients ask for one."

"Could I get one?" She's seized by this idea. Maybe there's some cheap, easy way round this she hasn't seen before. "Annulment." Null and void. She likes the sound of that a _lot_. Why didn't Alex mention this before?

"Not unless Jackson was a bigamist," he says. "Or forced you into marriage. Or you never consummated it. Or one of you was mentally unfit at the time."

"Me!" She says at once. "I was crazy to even _think_ of marrying him."

"That's what they all say." He laughs. "Won't wash, I'm afraid."

Her spark of hope slowly dies away. Damn. She wishes Jackson _had_ been a bigamist now. She wishes some original wife in a Mormon bonnet would pop up and say, _I got there first!_ and save her all this trouble.

"I guess we'll have to stick with the divorce."

"I guess so." He repeats. "But please Lexie, don't be bitter and go out with other people."

Lexie gasps at his use of the B-word. "I am not bitter! I'm angry. Regretful." She searches her mind for further acceptable emotions. "I'm rueful. Sad. Philosophical."

"You remember Steve? The friend of mine you had a date with during Christmas holidays? He said you were bitter. You were supposed to flirt with him, but apparently you ranted for five solid minutes about your ex-husband's underpants!"

" _I am not bitter_!" Lexie almost yells at him. There's silence at the other end. She's breathing fast and her hands feel sweaty around the steering wheel. She's flashing back to her date with Steve and she thought she was talking about Jackson in an amusing, detached, ironic way. Maybe she was bitter, indeed.

"Okay," she says at last. "Well, now I know. Thanks for the heads-up."

"Anytime. And remember I am your friend. And I do love you a lot. But this is what you need. Tough love, Lexie. I'll talk to you, soon."

"Bye. Tell Jo I say hello."

He rings off and Lexie signals left, chewing her bottom lip and glaring darkly at the street.

Maybe she is turning into a bitter, twisted hag. She is going to end up a gnarled old crone in a black hood who scowls at the world and battles her way along the street, hitting people with her stick and refusing to smile at the neighborhood children, who run away, terrified. Worst case scenario.

* * *

Lexie has been at work for two hours, thinking about her bitter, sad and lonely future, when she reaches for her phone and calls Meredith's office number. Maybe they can buoy each other up.

The girl who answered was Kayla.

"Oh, hi Kayla," Lexie says. "Is Meredith there?"

"She's out. Shopping. Don't know when she'll be back."

 _Shopping?_ Lexie blinks at the phone in surprise. She knows Meredith sometimes gets frustrated with her job, but to go shopping and blatantly tell your intern is really not the way to go in this economic climate.

"Any idea when she'll be back?"

"I don't know. She's buying stuff for her honeymoon."

Lexie stiffens. Did she hear that right? Honeymoon? _Honeymoon_?

"Did you just say..." Lexie swallows. "Kayla, is Meredith getting married?"

"Didn't you know?"

"I've been away! This is... I've been..." Lexie can hardly speak. "Oh my Goodness! Please say I rang and congratulations!"

She puts down the phone and beams elatedly around the empty office. Her gloomy mood has vanished. She wants to dance! Meredith is engaged! Some things in the world do go right, after all.

But, how? What happened? Did she fly to San Francisco after all? Or did he fly back?

Lexie texts her:

 **You're engaged?**

She's expecting radio silence again, but a moment later she replies:

 **Yes! I was waiting to tell u all about it! Neither Molly knows anything.**

 **OMG! What happened?**

 **All very fast. Still can't believe it. He came back into my life out of nowhere, asked me in a restaurant, I had no idea he would, absolute whirlwind!**

Lexie has to talk with her. She calls her mobile number, but it's engaged. Damn. She'll get herself a coffee, and try again. As she heads to their in-house Starbucks outlet, she can't stop beaming. She is so happy, she wants to cry, but editors don't cry at work. Finn is perfect. He's everything Lexie could ever have wanted for Meredith. Which sounds motherly- but, then, she does feel motherly toward Meredith, despite being younger than her. And as mother figure/sister/possible chief bridesmaid, she could not be more thrilled that Finn is joining their strange family unit. He's handsome, good at his job, responsible, always gallant.

Lexie wants to jump up and down, she is so happy! After all the shit of her divorce, they need something good to come their way. She is so grateful both her sisters would have happy marriages.

As she heads back to her desk, she impatiently dials Meredith's number again- and this time she answers.

"Hi, Lexie?"

"Meredith!" She erupts with excitement. "Congratulations! Amazing news! I cannot believe it!"

"I know! I know!" She sounds even more euphoric than Lexie was expecting. Finn must have swept her off her feet.

"So... when?" She sits down at her desk and sips at her coffee.

"Two weeks ago. It still hasn't really sunk in!"

"Details!"

"Well, he just contacted me out of the blue." Meredith gives an exhilarated laugh. "I couldn't believe it. I thought I'd never see him again. Let alone this!"

If he proposed two weeks ago, that means he'd be gone for a day, max. He must have landed at San Francisco and turned right around. Good work, Finn!

"And what did he say? Did he get down on one knee?"

Yes! He said he'd always loved me and wanted to be with me and then he asked me to marry him about ten times, and at last I said yes!" Her elation bubbles over again. "Can you believe it?"

Lexie sighs happily and takes another sip of coffee. It's so romantic. It's so dreamy. She wonders if she could skive her Delta Airlines press conference and takes Meredith out for a celebratory lunch.

"So... what else?" She probes for more details. "How did he change his mind?"

"Change his mind? What do you mean?"

"Well... Last time you saw each other he clearly told you he didn't want to get married."

"Of course he didn't! And marriage wasn't on my mind, either. I was _eighteen_! Are you silly?" Meredith giggled.

She was eighteen? What the hell she is talking about?

"Meredith, you didn't meet Finn when you were eighteen!" Lexie exclaims, confused.

"Lexie! You know I didn't! And God, you could be a bit more sensitive!" Her voice rises shrilly. "I'm trying to start afresh here! I'm trying to embark a whole new life with Derek! You don't have to bring up Finn!"

 _Derek_? Lexie is completely confused. She thinks she's going mad. Who's Derek and what does he have to do with this?

"Look, Meredith. Don't get upset, but I really don't understand..."

"I told you just in my text! Can't you read?"

"You said you were engaged!" A terrible feeling grips Lexie. Is this all some massive misunderstanding? "Are you _not_ engaged?"

"Yes! Of course I am engaged! To Derek!"

" _Who the fuck is Derek_?" Lexie yells, more loudly than she meant to.

There's silence at the end of the phone.

"Oh," Meredith says at last. "Sorry. I just looked back at my text. I thought I'd told you. I'm not marrying Finn. I'm marrying Derek. Remember Derek?"

"No, I do not remember Derek!" Lexie replies, feeling increasingly frazzled.

"That's right, you never met him, after all. Well, he was my gap-year boyfriend in Greece and he's come back into my life and we're getting married."

Lexie feels as though he ceiling has caved in. she was marrying Finn. It all made sense. Now she's running off with some guy called Derek? Lexie doesn't even know where to start.

"Meredith... But, Meredith, I mean- How can you be getting married to him?" A thought suddenly comes to her. "Is this a green card thing?"

"No, it's not a green card thing!" Meredith sounds indignant. "It's _love_!"

"You love this Derek guy enough to marry him?" Lexie can't believe she's having this conversation.

"Yes"

"When exactly did he come back into your life?"

"Two weeks ago."

"Two weeks ago," Lexie repeats calmly, although she wants to burst into hysterical laughter. "After how long?"

"Fifteen years." Meredith sounds defiant. "And before you ask, yes, I _have_ thought it through."

"Okay! Well, congratulations! I'm sure Derek is wonderful."

"He's amazing! You'll love him. He's good-looking and he's fun. And we totally connected-"

"Great! Look, let's meet up for lunch, okay? And we can talk about it."

Maybe Lexie is overreacting. She simply has to adjust at the new situation. Maybe this guy Derek is perfect for Meredith and it will work out brilliantly. As long as they have a nice long engagement and don't rush into anything-

"Shall we meet at U-Village?" Meredith says. "I'm here now, actually. I'm buying honeymoon underwear!"

"Yes, I heard. So, when were you planning to get married?"

"Tomorrow," she says cheerfully. "We wanted to do it as soon as possible. Can you take the day off?"

 _Tomorrow_? Lexie chokes on her coffee. Meredith is gone mad.

"Meredith, stay there." Lexie can hardly get the words out. "I'll come and meet you. I think we should have a talk."

* * *

 _ **Replies to your reviews:**_

 _ **Cheryl: Derek's past will be quite interesting, especially after we meet Mark, his best friend and co-worker. Anyway, don't worry, there will be no bad surprises for you! Thank you!:)**_

 _ **Judy: I am happy you liked it. Anyway, you have to wait a little for the wedding and you definitely have to be veeeery patient for the wedding night. But when it happens, it will be great, I promise you! Thank you!**_

 _ **Guest#1: Just updated! Hope you'll like the chapter!**_

 _ **ButterflyWhisperer: Thank you very much! I hope you liked this chapter as well :) (Little question...Will you update your story "Promise me this"? Pleeeease!) Thank you for the review!**_

 _ **ashmo2000: You perfectly understand the situation! Obviously, Meredith and Derek are both two adults now and a lot of things changed since Ikonos. But, as you said, it will be worth while! Thank you for always support me and comment my stories :) I promise I'll update "Hi dad this is my boss" very soon.**_

 _ **Patsy: Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope you liked this chapter as well!**_

 _ **Grey'sStark: Thank you :)**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Here I am, you don't have to worry, I love this story too much to abandon it.**_

 _ **Starting to write again has been very hard but now I am here and I promise you I won't make you wait so long anymore for an update.**_

 _ **So, this is going to be a kind of filler chapter, the wedding is coming and Lexie wants to do everything she can to stop it.**_

 _ **And, ladies and gentlemen… The Mark Sloan will be in this chapter as well. I loved writing his interaction with Lexie, they are going to argue and build up a lot of tension.**_

 _ **I hope you'll like it and as always let me know what you think about it.**_

 _ **Thank you for your always kind support.**_

* * *

Lexie should never have relaxed. She should never have gone on holiday. She should have realized that Meredith wouldn't resist till she'd found something to channel all her hurt energy into. And it's this. A marriage. By the time Lexie gets to U-Village, her heart is thumping and she has a head full of questions. Meredith, on the other hand, has a basket full of _Victoria's secrets_ underwear.

As Meredith sees Lexie, she holds the tiniest lace thong in the world.

"What do you think?"

Lexie eyes the stuff in her basket. She's clearly been at the Agent Provocateur concession. There's lots of black see-through lace. And is it an eye mask?

"What do you think? It's quite expensive, indeed. Maybe shall I try it on?"

 _Isn't there a slightly bigger question we should be discussing?_ Lexie wants to yell. Like: _Who is this Derek and why are you marrying him?_

But if Lexie knows one thing about her sister, it's that she needs to play things carefully with her. Lexie needs to talk her down.

"Well!" She says as brightly as she can. "You're getting married. To someone I've never met!"

"You'll meet him at the wedding. You'll love him, Lexie." Her eyes are shiny as she tosses the thong into her basket and adds a matching bra. "I can't believe everything's worked out so perfectly. I'm so happy!"

"Right. Wonderful! Me too!" Lexie leaves a little pause before adding: "Although – just a thought- do you _need_ to get married so soon? Couldn't you have a long engagement and plan everything properly?"

"There's nothing to plan! It's all going to be so easy. City Hall. Dinner at some lovely place. Simple and romantic. You're going to be the bridesmaid, I hope. I'd love to have Molly too here, but I guess she can't manage to come to Seattle within tomorrow."

There's something weird about her. Lexie surveys Meredith, trying to work out what's different. She's got that post-breakup manic air about her – but even more than usual. Her eyes are over-bright. She's hyper. Is Derek a dealer? Is she _on_ something?

"So, Derek just contacted you out of the blue?"

"He got in touch and we had dinner. And it was as though we'd never been apart. We were so tune with each other." Meredith sighs blissfully. "He'd been in love with me for fifteen years. _Fifteen years_. And I'd be in love with him too. That's why we want to get married quickly. We've wasted enough time already, Lexie." Her voice throbs dramatically, as though she's in a TV true-life movie.

"We want to get on with the rest of our life."

 _What?_ Okay, this is bullocks. Meredith has not been in love with someone called Derek for the last fifteen years. She thinks she might know if Meredith had.

"You've been in love with him the last fifteen years?" Lexie can't help challenging her. "Funny that you never mentioned him. At all."

"I loved him _inside_." Meredith claps a hand to her side. " _Here_. Maybe I didn't tell you about it. Maybe I don't tell you everything." She defiantly throws a garter belt into her basket.

"Have you got a photo of him?"

"Not on me. But he's gorgeous. I want you to give a speech, by the way." Meredith adds blithely.

"You're chief-bridesmaid-slash-best-woman. And Derek's best man is his friend Mark. It'll just be the four of us at the ceremony."

Lexie stares at her in exasperation. She was planning to be tactful and go softly, softly, but she can't. This is too crazy.

"Meredith." She plants a hand on the packet of stockings she was about to pick up. "Stop. And listen a moment. I know you don't want to hear this, but you have to." Lexie waits until she reluctantly turns her eyes toward her. "You split up from Finn about five minutes ago. You were about to commit to him. You said you loved him. Now, you're rushing off with some guy you barely know? Is this really a good idea?"

"Well, it's a good thing I did split up form Finn! A very good thing!" Meredith is suddenly bristling like a cat. "I've done a lot of thinking, Lexie. And I've realized Finn was all wrong for me. _All_ wrong! I need someone romantic. Someone who can feel and, above all, who can make _me_ feel. Finn is a nice guy and I thought I loved him. But now I realize the truth: he's limited."

Meredith spits out "limited" as though it's the worst insult she can say.

"What do you mean?" Lexie can't help but feel a bit defensive on Finn's behalf.

"He's narrow. He has no style. He'd never make some huge, reckless, wonderful gesture. He'd never come and find a girl after fifteen years and tell her that life was darkness without her and now he wants to turn on the switch with her." Her chin juts defiantly and Lexie gives an inward grimace. Was that Derek's line?

It's not Lexie doesn't sympathize, because she does. She had a couple of terrible, misjudged rebound flings after Jackson and she separated. But she didn't marry one of them!

"Look, Meredith." She tries a different tack. "I do understand. I know what it's like. You're hurt. You're confused. And old boyfriend comes along out of the blue… Of course you are going to fall into bed with him. It's natural. But why do you have to get married?"

"You're wrong," Meredith retorts with a triumphant look. "You are so, so wrong, Lexie. I didn't fall into bed with him. And I'm not going to. I'm saving myself for the honeymoon."

 _What?_

Of all the things Lexie was expecting to hear, it wasn't this. She stares at Meredith blankly, widening her eyes, unable to find an answer.

"You are saving yourself? But… why?" Lexie suddenly fears the worst. "is he from some kind of cult? Did he promise you enlightenment?"

"Of course not!"

"So… _Why_?"

"So I'll have the hottest, dirtiest sex ever on my honeymoon night. We know we are good together, so why not save up for the moment? It's our wedding night. It should be special! As special as it can possibly be." Meredith gives a sudden wriggle, as though she can't contain herself.

"And believe me, it will be. God, Lexie, he's so hot! We can hardly keep our hands off each other. It's like we're eighteen again."

Lexie stares at her, all the pieces falling into place. Her shiny eyes make sense. The basket of underwear makes sense. She's raring to go. This engagement is one great session of foreplay. Meredith is drugged up on lust. Teenage lust. She has the same look about her as teenagers making out at the bus stop, as though the rest of the world doesn't exist. For a moment, Lexie feels a stab of envy. She wouldn't mind disappearing into a bubble of teenage lust, quite frankly. But she has to stay rational, as always. She has to be the voice of reason.

"Meredith, listen. You don't have to get married. You could just take a hotel suite somewhere."

"But I want to get married!" Humming to herself, Meredith grabs another expensive negligee and Lexie suppresses the desire to scream. It's all very well. But if Meredith took off the lust goggles for one bloody moment, maybe she'd see how much this escapade is potentially going to end up costing her. A shed-load of expensive underwear. A marriage. A honeymoon. A divorce. All for one epic night of shagging? Which she could have for free?

"I know what you are thinking." Meredith looks up at Lexie resentfully. "You could be happy for me."

"I am trying to be. I really am." She rubs her head. "But it makes no sense. You're doing everything the wrong way round."

"Am I? who says so? Isn't this the traditional way?"

"Meredith you're being ludicrous!" Lexie is starting to feel angry. "This is no way to start a marriage, okay? A marriage is serious, a legal thing-"

"I know!" Meredith cuts her sister off. "And I want to make it work, and this is the way. I am not stupid, Lexie." She folds her arms. "I have thought about this, you know. My love life has been a disaster, it's followed the same old pattern, man after man. Sex. Love. No marriage. Over and over. Well, now I have the chance to do it differently! I'm reversing the strategy! Love. Marriage. Sex."

"But it's nuts!" Lexie can't help but erupting. "The whole thing is nuts! You must see that!"

"No, I don't!" Meredith retorts hotly. "I see a brilliant answer to the whole problem. It's retro! It's tried and tested. Did Romeo and Juliet have sex before they got married?"

Lexie snorts.

"Did Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy have sex before they got married?" Her eyes flash at Lexie as though this proves everything.

Oh, please. Meredith knows well that if she's going to use Mr. Darcy to prop up her arguments, Lexie will give up.

"Fair enough." She says at last, indeed. "You got me there. You know, Mr. Darcy."

Lexie needs to back off for now and come up with a different angle.

"So, who's this Mark?" A new idea has come to her. "Who's this best man of Derek's you mentioned?"

Presumably, Derek's best friend won't be any wilder than Lexie about this sudden, out-of-the-blue marriage. Maybe they can join their forces.

"I don't know." Meredith waves vaguely. "Some old friend. He works with him."

"Where?"

"The company is called something like… Ducree."

"And what does Derek do, exactly?"

"I don't know." Meredith holds up a pair of knickers that untie at the back. 2Something or other."

Lexie resists the urge to yell, _You're getting married to him and you don't even know what he does?_

She gets out her BlackBerry and types in _Derek-Mark-Ducree?_

"What's Derek's last name?"

"Shepherd. I'll be Meredith Shepherd. Isn't that lovely?"

 _Derek Shepherd_.

Lexie taps at her BlackBerry, peers at the screen and does a fake gasp. "Oh My! I forgot all about that. Actually, Meredith, I'm not sure I've got time for lunch, after all. I'd better go. Have fun shopping!" She gives her a hug. "Talk to you later. And… Congratulations!"

Lexie's bright smile lasts all the way out of the underwear shop. Before she has even got to her car, she's on Google, typing Derek Shepherd. Derek Shepherd, her potential new brother-in-law. Who the hell is he?

* * *

By the time she gets back to her office, she has googled Derek Shepherd as extensively as she can manage on her phone, but she hasn't found any company called Decree, only a bunch of entries about a Derek Shepherd who is a race car driver. And he does it badly, according to the reviews. Is that him?

At last, she finds an entry which mentions a Derek Shepherd in a new item about a paper company called Dupree Sanders. He has some made-up title like Strategic Overview Consultant. When Lexie types in _Derek Shepherd Dupree Sanders_ , a million new entries appear. Dupree Sanders is clearly a thing. A huge company. Here's the home page and sure enough, a page pops up with his picture and a little bio, which she scans. _Having worked with his father as a young man, Derek Christopher Shepherd was delighted to rejoin Dupree Sanders in 2011, in a strategic role… genuine passion for the business… Since his father's death, he is even more dedicated to the future of the company_ _._

Lexie leans toward the screen and stares at the photo intently, trying to get a sense of this man. He is good-looking, she has to agree. Great hair and blue eyes. Slim. Affable.

After a bit, the pixels start to dance in front of her eyes, so she sits back and types in _Mark Dupree Sanders._

A moment later another page pops up, with a photo of a very different-looking man. If Derek was good-looking, Mark is stunning. Salt and pepper hair, a chiseled jaw covered in the precisely perfect amount of scruff, a pair of piercing blue greyish eyes. He is frowning and he looks fairly forbidding.

Underneath the picture, it says, _Mark Everett Sloan. Extension 301. After graduating at Columbia Law School, Mark Sloan practiced law in New York before joining Dupree Sanders in 2008… responsible for many initiatives… developed the luxury stationery brand Papermaker… worked with National Trust to expand the visitor center… committed to sustainable, responsible industry…_

Lexie can't help but noticing they have the same Alma Mater. He is a lawyer. Let's hope he's the rational, reasonable type and the arrogant asshole type. She dials the number, simultaneously clicking on her emails.

"Mark Sloan." The voice that answers is so deep and gravelly, Lexie drops her mouse in surprise. Surely that's not a real voice. It sounds made up.

"Hello?" He says again and Lexie stifles a giggle. This guy has a film-trailer voice. It's that deep-down rumbly, subwoofer voice you hear as you're scarfing down popcorn, waiting for your movie to begin.

 _We thought the world was safe. We thought the universe was ours. Until they came_.

"Hello?" He repeats again, seeming quite annoyed.

"Hi. Er… hi." Lexie tries to assemble her thoughts. "Is this Mark Sloan?"

"It's he."

 _From Academy Award- winning director-_

No. She has to stop.

"Right, right. Yes." Lexie hastily composes herself. "Well, I think we need to speak. My name is Alexandra Grey. My sister is Meredith."

"Ah." There's a sudden animation in his voice. "Well, excuse my French, but what the fuck is going on here? Derek just called me. Apparently he and your sister are getting _married_?"

Two things Lexie picks up straightaway. First: he does have a faint New York accent. Second: he is not keen on the whole marriage idea either. Thank God. Another voice of reason.

"Exactly!" She exclaims. "And you're best man? I have no idea how this came about, but I was thinking maybe we could get together and-"

"And what? Plan the table decorations?" he talks right over her. "I have no idea how your sister talked to Derek into this ridiculous plan, but I' afraid I'm going to do everything I can to stop it, whether you and your sister like it or not."

Lexie stares at her phone. He is definitely the arrogant asshole type.

"I work with Derek and this is a crucial time for him," Mark presses n. "He can't just zoom off on some ludicrous, spur-of-the-moment honeymoon. He has responsibilities. He has commitments. Now, I don't know your sister's motivation-"

" _What_?" Lexie is so outraged; she doesn't know where to start.

"Excuse me?" He sounds puzzled that she has dared to interrupt.

"Okay, _mister._ " Lexie feels instantly stupid for saying mister, but it's too late now. "First of all, my sister didn't talk anybody into anything. I think you'll find your friend arrived out of the clue and bamboozled her into getting married. And, second, if you think I phoned you up to 'plan the table decorations', you are very much mistaken. _I'm_ intending to put a stop to this marriage myself. With or without your help."

"I see." He sounds skeptical.

"Is Derek saying that Meredith talked him into it? Because if so, he's lying."

"Not as such," says Mark after a pause. "But Derek can be… what shall we say? Easily swayed."

" _Easily swayed_?" Lexie retorts furiously. "If anyone was doing any swaying, he was! My sister is at a low point, she is very vulnerable and she doesn't need some chancer coming along. I mean, what's his job? I don't know anything about him."

"You don't know his background." Again he sounds skeptical and he is really pissing Lexie off.

"I know nothing except he met my sister on her gap year and they had a teenage shag-fest and now he says he's always loved her and they're planning to get married tomorrow to resume the teenage-shag fest." Lexie stops her rambling and takes a breath. "And he works at the Dupree Sanders."

"He _owns_ the Dupree Sanders." Mark corrects her.

"What?" She asks stupidly.

"As of his father's death a month ago, Derek is the major shareholder in Dupree Sanders, a paper-manufacturing company worth fifty million dollars. And, for what it's worth, his life has been complicated and he is also pretty vulnerable."

As Lexie digests his words, a boiling hot fury starts to rise within her.

"You think my sister is a gold digger?" She erupts. " _That's_ what you think?"

Lexie has never been so insulted in all her life. That arrogant, conceited jerk! She is breathing faster and faster, staring daggers at his screen face.

"I didn't say that." He counters calmly.

"Just listen to me, Mr. Sloan," she says in her iciest tone. "Let's look at the facts, shall we? Your, precious friend talked to _my_ sister into a ridiculous, rushed marriage. Not the other way round. How do you know she isn't an heiress worth even more? How do you know we're not related to… to Bill Gates?"

"Touché." Mark replies after a pause. "Are you?"

"Of course we are not!" Lexie says impatiently. "The pint is, you jumped to conclusions. Surprising, for a lawyer."

There's another silence. Lexie gets the feeling she has needled him.

"Okay," he eventually says. "I apologize. I didn't mean to imply anything about your sister. Maybe she and Derek are a match made in heaven. But that doesn't change the fact we have some very big stuff happening at the company. Derek needs to be available in the US now. If he wants to go on honeymoon, he'll have to do it later."

"Or never," Lexie puts in.

"Or never, indeed." Mark sounds amused. "You are not a fan of Derek, then?"

"I've never even met him. But this has been a useful chat. It's all I needed to know. Leave it with me. I'll deal with it."

" _I'll_ deal with it." He contradicts her. "I'll talk to Derek."

Mark is actually winding her up. Who says he should be in charge?

"I'll talk to Meredith." Lexie counters as authoritatively as she can. "I'll fix it."

"I am sure that won't be necessary." Marks talks straight across her. "I'll speak with Derek. The whole thing will be forgotten."

"I'll talk to Meredith," she repeats, ignoring him. 2And I'll let you know when I've sorted everything out."

There is silence. Neither of them is going to concede, she can tell.

"Right," says Mark at last. "Well, goodbye."

"Goodbye."

Lexie puts down the receiver, then grabs her BlackBerry and dials Meredith's mobile. No more Ms. Nice Sister. She is stopping this marriage. Right here, right now.

* * *

 _ **Replies to your reviews:**_

 _ **Patsy: I hate Jackson in this story, too. He didn't deserve Lexie and I promise you, she'll have her happy ending! Thank you so much.**_

 _ **Cheryl: Thank you so much! There will definitely be a lot of chemistry between Mark and Lexie. The wedding will come soon and in the next chapters you will know other details about Derek's life.**_

 _ **Judy: Oh my Goodness! Thank you so much for your kind words!I hope you liked this chapter as well.**_

 _ **Jill: Thank you so much**_

 _ **ButterflyWhisperer: Thank you! It was my favorite part too but honestly the idea comes from the book written by Sophie Kinsella, though I changed some details lol**_

 _ **Ashmo2000: Lexie doesn't need him and he doesn't deserve her. She will have her happy ending too. The idea of the condom-balloon comes from the book which inspired this story. Thank you for supporting always my stories**_

 _ **Chloe: Thank you!**_

 _ **DreamBigIris: Thank you so much! And don't worry Meredith won't go anywhere… or, at least, she won't go anywhere without Derek! Lol Lexie is having hard time with Jackson but she will have the happy ending she deserves too… Do you imagine who will be involved in that? I hope you liked this chapter as well!**_

 _ **Carla: I won't abandon it, don't worry ;)**_

 _ **Ellen: Thank you and Happy new Year to you, too!**_

 _ **Patsy 2: Thank you**_

* * *

I've just found out there are a lot of typos and some mistakes in past chapters so I'm going to editing everuthing as soon as possible.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hello! This is the longest chapter so far and, honestly, I love it. Obviously, I am biased not only because I wrote it but also because I love Mark and Lexie together and in this chapter they will interact with each other a lot. I had so much fun writing it and I hope you'll enjoy it as well.**_

 _ **Thank you so so so much for your support and for your kind reviews. You are the best!**_

* * *

Lexie can't believe that Meredith has ignored her for the past twenty-four hours.

It's now the following afternoon, the wedding is due to start in an hour and she still hasn't spoken to her sister.

Meredith has sidestepped every Lexie's call, but, at the same time, she's managed to leave at least fifty messages on her sister's phone, about the City Hall and the restaurant and meeting for pre-wedding drinks at _The Pink Door_. Not to mention the purple satin bridesmaid dress arrived at Lexie's office at lunchtime and the poem she received by email, along with the request for her to read it aloud during the ceremony.

The truth is that Meredith feels defensive, she cannot fool her sister. And that means Lexie is in with a chance. She knows she can talk her out this nonsense. She just needs to work with her vulnerability and exploit it.

As Lexie enters into _The Pink Door_ , she can already see Meredith sitting at the bar in a cream lace minidress, with roses in her hair and adorable vintage-style shoes with button straps. Meredith looks beautiful, indeed.

And for just a moment, Lexie feels bad for coming to derail her. But someone has to stay sane around there.

James is not with her, obviously. He's having a sleepover with his friend Zach. At least Teddy has not been so traumatized by the condom accident.

Meredith has spotted Lexie and waves her to get her attention. She waves back and approaches with an innocent smile.

"You look gorgeous!" She gives Meredith a tight hug. "How exciting. What a happy day!"

Meredith scans her face without replying, which proves Lexie is right: she is on the defensive. But she keeps her smile steady, as though she hasn't noticed a thing.

"I thought you weren't keen on the idea." Meredith says at last.

"What?" Lexie replies shocked. " _Of course_ I'm keen on the idea! I was just surprised. But I'm sure Derek is a sweetheart and you'll be happy for many, many years." Lexie holds her breath, Meredith is visibly relaxing, her guard is coming down.

"Yes. Yes, we will. Well, sit down. Have some champagne! Here's your bouquet, by the way." She hands Lexie a little cluster of white roses.

"Wow! Fabulous!"

She pours Lexie a glass and she raises it in a toast. Then she glances at her wristwatch. Fifty-five minutes to go.

"So, which are your plans for the honeymoon?" Lexie asks casually. "You probably didn't manage to book anywhere at such short notice. What a shame. A honeymoon is such a special time; you want it to be perfect. If only you'd held a few weeks, I could have helped you arrange something amazing! In fact… we should do that, shouldn't we?" Lexie puts down her glass as though seized by a brilliant sudden idea. Obviously it has all planned since the night before. "Meredith, let's put off the wedding just a teeny bit and have fun planning the perfect honeymoon for you!"

Lexie isn't joking, at all. Despite all the pain and sorrow linked to her marriage, she still remembers her honeymoon as one of the best moments of her life.

The staff of _The Pincher Travel Review_ surprised her and Jackson with a reservation at the most exclusive hotel in Jamaica. Lexie is pretty sure that James was conceived during one of their love making sessions on the white sand of the Caribbean.

"Don't worry," says Meredith happily. "We already have the perfect honeymoon arranged! One night at the _Four Seasons Hotel_ here in Seattle and then off tomorrow!"

"Really?" Lexie is ready to trump it. "Where are you going, then?"

"We're going back to Ikonos, obviously. Back to where we met. Isn't it so romantic?"

"You are spending your honeymoon into a backpackers' guest house?" Lexie stares at her.

"No, silly! We're staying at that amazing hotel, _The Amba_. The one with the waterfall. Didn't you review it?"

Damn. _The Amba_ is untrumpable. It opened three years ago and they have reviewed it twice since then. Five stars each time. It's the most spectacular place in the Cyclades and was voted Top Honeymoon Destination two years running. Since then, it's already become just a touch tacky, truth to be told. It's been flooded with celebrity couples and it plays to the honeymoon market too strongly according to Lexie. But it still remains an amazing, world-class hotel.

"The only thing about _The Amba_ is that you have to be on the best side." Lexie shakes her head gloomily. "At such short notice, they've probably shoved you in that awful side wing. There's no sun and it smells. You'll be miserable." She suddenly brightens. "I know! Wait a few weeks, and let me call in a favor. I can get you the Oyster Suite, I'm sure. And honestly, Meredith, the bed alone is worth waiting for. It's massive, with a glass dome above so you can see the stars. You _have_ to have it! Why don't you call Derek and say you want to put things off, only for a few weeks-"

"But we've _got_ the Oyster Suite!" Meredith interrupts her cheerfully. "It's all booked! We're having a bespoke honeymoon, with our own private butler and treatments every day and a day on the hotel yacht!"

"What?" Lexie widens her eyes. "How?"

"There was a cancelation!" She beams. "Derek used some special concierge service and they fixed it up. Isn't it great?"

"Marvelous." Lexie mutters and then sips at her champagne.

"Ikonos is so special to us." She's bubbling over. "I mean it's been totally ruined, I'm sure. When we were there, they didn't even have an airport, let alone big hotels. We had to get there by boat. But, still, it'll be like going back in time. I can't wait!"

Lexie keeps drinking her champagne, thinking hard.

"Have you got a vintage Rolls-Royce today?" She tries a different tack. "You always wanted a vintage Rolls-Royce for you wedding."

"No." She shrugs. "I can walk."

"But what a shame!" Lexie puts on a stricken expression. "It was your dream to have a vintage Rolls-Royce. If you just waited a bit, you could have one."

"Lexie." Meredith gives her a gently chiding smile. "Aren't you being rather shallow? The important thing is love. Finding a life partner. Not some random car. Don't you think?"

"Of course." Lexie smiles back tightly. Okay, let's try another approach. Dress? No, she's wearing a lovely dress. Wedding-gifts list? Neither, she is not that materialistic.

And then, the epiphany.

"So… Have you told Cristina, at last? She isn't coming, is she?" Lexie asks. There's silence. Quite a long silence. She stares at Meredith in sudden hope. Her face has tightened.

"Nope," she says at last, looking down into her drink. "She obviously cannot come. She is in Zurich."

"No Cristina?" Lexie raises a hand to her mouth in horror. "But how can you have a wedding without your best friend? _Your_ person?"

The relationship between Meredith and Cristina is almost weird. They are like twisted twins. Not to mention Cristina has always been the rational part in the dreamy Meredith's mind. Lexie has just pushed her sister's button.

"Well, she chose to go there, after all. It's not important." Meredith smiles briefly, but her whole demeanor has changed.

Lexie wants to whoop. This is it. Her Achille's heel. She has Meredith like putty in her hands.

"For me, a wedding is all about family and friends." Lexie says. "I've always imagined you kneeling at the altar in a country church with the organ playing and Cristina beside you, your maid of honor. And then I'd be there too with Molly. And Laura would be your flower girl while James would bear the rings." Lexie muses, rubbing it in. "Not at a registry office. Funny, that."

She is probably winding her up. Meredith is looking away, lost in her own world. "Yes," she whispers and not even turning her head. Her eyes are glassy, indeed. Okay, time to go in for the kill.

"Anyway!" Lexie exclaims. "The important thing is that this is your special day. And it's going to be perfect. Nice and quick. No stupid fussing about with music, or choirboys, or guests… Just in and out. Sign a paper, say a couple of words and then you're done. For life," she adds. "We can always send some pictures to Cristina and Molly, after all."

Lexie feels almost cruel. She can see Meredith's bottom lip quivering very slightly. She lapses into silence and sips her champagne, waiting. She can see Meredith's eyes flickering with thoughts. She can sense her inner battle between romance and lust. And she thinks romance is just getting the edge. Come on! Meredith looks as if though she is coming to a decision. And then…

"Lexie…" She looks up. " _Lexie_ , I-I know what I really want."

* * *

 _Just call me the World Champion Bride Whisperer,_ Lexie smiles, proud of herself.

There was no argument. No confrontation. Meredith eventually thinks it was her idea to postpone.

Lexie has totally sold her on the idea of a country wedding with music and a choir and guests. Which is fine. A wedding is lovely. Marriage is lovely. Maybe Derek is destined to be her life partner and Lexie will kick herself as Meredith has her tenth grandchild, but at least this way gives her time to look at Derek and think, _Hmm. Sixty more years with you. Is that a good idea?_

Meredith is gone to the City Hall, to tell Derek the news. Lexie's work is done. The only task remaining is to buy Meredith _Brides_ magazine. They are going to meet up for a coffee the next day and have the cozy chat about veils and dresses, and then in the evening, _finally_ she'll get to meet Derek.

Lexie finds herself thinking about her own wedding planning. She was so young, at just twenty-four years old, and very naive too. She truly believed Jackson was her soul mate and the love of her life. Now, though she is barely thirty years old, she feels so old. As if she doesn't know how to enjoy herself nor be less wise and judicious. She even wonders if she'll ever fall in love again with someone.

As she's waiting to cross the street, mentally congratulating herself for being so brilliant, she sees a face she recognizes. Scruffy facial hair. Chiseled features. The most piercing blue eyes. Rose in his buttonhole. He is about ten feet tall and he is walking down the other side of the street, with the kind of thunderous frown that you wear when your rich best friend has been grabbed by an evil gold digger and you have to be the best man. As he's walking, his rose suddenly falls out and he stops to pick it up. He looks at it with such a murderous expression, Lexie almost wants to laugh.

Well, wait till she tells him. What's his name again? Oh yes, _Mark_.

"Hi!" Lexie waves frantically as he moves off. "Mark! _Stop_!"

His stride is so fast, she'll never catch up with him. He pauses and swivels round suspiciously, and Lexie waves again to get his attention.

"Over here! Me! I need to speak with you!" She waits for him to cross, then approaches him, brandishing my bouquet. "I am Lexie Grey. We spoke yesterday? Meredith's sister?"

"Ah." His face clears briefly, then it's back to the cheery, wedding-day scowl. "I suppose you're heading there now?"

Lexie forgot about his ridiculous and husky movie-trailer voice. Although somehow it sounds less ridiculous when it's not a disembodied voice coming down a phone line. It matches his face, indeed. Dark and intense.

"Well, _actually_..." She can't help but sound complacent. "I am not heading there, because it's off."

He stares at her in shock: "What do you mean?"

"It's off. For now," she adds. "Meredith is gone to postpone the wedding."

"Why?" He asks. He is so suspicious.

"So she can make sure Derek's fortune is invested in a way that makes it easy to plunder." Lexie says with a shrug. "Obviously."

Mark's face flickers with amusement. "Okay. I deserve that. What's going on? Why is she postponing?"

"I talked her out of it." Lexie states proudly. "I know my sister, and I know the power of suggestion. After our little chat, she wants a romantic wedding with guests. That's way she's postponing. My reason is: if they delay it, at least it gives them a chance to see if they're right for each other."

"Well, thank God for that!" Mark breathes out and runs a hand through his hair. Finally his hackles is coming down. Finally his brow is starting to relax. And Lexie can't help but admit he is very handsome. "Derek is in no place to getting married right now. It was nuts."

"Ridiculous." She agrees.

"Insane."

"Stupidest idea ever. No I take that back." Lexie glances down at herself. "Putting me in a purple bridesmaid's dress was the stupidest idea ever."

"I think you look very nice." Another flicker of amusement passes across his face. He glances at his wristwatch. "What should I do? I am supposed to meet Derek at the City Hall by now."

"I think we should stay away."

"Agreed."

There's a pause. This is weird, standing on a street corner, all dressed up with no wedding to go to.

Lexie fingers her bouquet awkwardly and wonders if she should throw it in the bin. It seems wrong somehow.

"Do you feel like a drink?" Says Mark abruptly. "I feel like a drink."

"I feel like _about six_ drinks." Lexie counters. "It takes it out of you, talking someone out of a wedding."

"Okay. Let's do it."

A man of swift decisions. Lexie likes that. He is already ushering her down a side street, toward a bar with a striped canopy and French-looking tables and chairs.

"Hey, I assume your sister _did_ call it off?" Mark stops dead in the doorway. "We're not going to get an irate text saying, _Where the hell are you_?"

"Nothing from Meredith." She checks her BlackBerry. "She was pretty determined to cancel. I am sure she did."

"Nothing from Derek either." Mark is looking at his phone. "I think we're in the clear." he ushers me to a corner table and opens the drinks menu. "You want a glass of wine?"

"Nope. I want a huge gin and tonic."

"You earned it." He gives her that smirk again. "I'll join you, though I usually drink Scotch."

He orders the drinks, switches off the phone and slips it into his pocket. A man who puts away his phone: Lexie likes it too.

"So, why is it a bad time for Derek to be getting married?" Lexie asks. "In fact, who _is_ this Derek? Fill me in."

"Derek." Mark's face twists wryly as though he doesn't know where to start. "Derek, Derek, Derek." There's a long pause. He has forgotten what his best friend is like? "He's... bright. Inventive. Handsome. Very smart."

He sounds so strained and unconvincing, Lexie stares at him. "Do you realize you sounded as if he you are in love with him?"

"I did not." Mark looks caught out.

"You did. Are you secretly in love with him?" Lexie asks, raising her eyebrow.

"Obviously I am not! God! Are you always this-" Mark breaks off and sighs. "Okay. I suppose I'm trying to protect him. He's in a difficult place, Derek. His father just died. The company has an uncertain future and he needs to decide which direction it's going in. He's my best friend and my only family." Mark stops, running his finger through his graying hair. "He's a natural gambler but he lacks judgment. It's difficult for him. He's having a bit of an early midlife crisis, I guess."

An early midlife crisis? Oh, perfect! Just what Meredith needs.

"Not husband material, then?" Lexie says, and Mark snorts.

"Maybe one day. When he's got his shit together. Last month he was buying a cabin in Montana. Then he was going to buy a boat, sail in races. Before that, he was all about investing in vintage motorbikes. My guess is he won't stay married five minutes. I'm afraid your sister will be the casualty."

An unstoppable series of unfortunate choices. Maybe Derek and Meredith are soul mates, indeed. Anyway, Lexie's heart is sinking, fast. "Well, thank God it's off."

"You did the right thing." He nods. "Not least because we need Derek around he cannot disappear again."

Lexie screws up her eyes. "What do you mean?"

Mark sighs. "He did it once before. When he broke up with his girlfirend, back in New York. He understood he disappeared for ten days. His father was furious. Then he reappeared. No apologies, no explanations. To this day I don't know where he got to."

The drinks arrive and Mark raises his glass. "Cheers. To canceled weddings."

"Canceled weddings." Lexie lifts her own glass and takes a delicious gulp of gin and tonic, then returns to the subject of Derek. "So, why is he having a midlife crisis?"

Mark hesitates, as though he doesn't want to break his friend's confidence.

"Come on," Lexie prods. "I'm nearly related to him, after all."

"I suppose so." He shrugs. "I've known Derek since I was eleven. We were at school together. My own parents didn't care a lot about me and I don't have any other family. I went to stay with Derek a couple of times in the holidays and I became close to the whole family. Derek's dad and I share a love for sailing. _Shared_ , I should say." He pauses, fingers clasped gently round his glass. "Derek never came with us. Not interested. And he never wanted to know about the family firm either. He saw it as this massive pressure. Everyone expected he'd join his father as soon as he left school, but it was the last thing he wanted to do."

"So, how come you to work for them?"

"I joined a few years ago." Mark gives an odd little half smile. "I was going through some... personal stuff. I wanted to get out of New York, so I went to stay with Derek's dad, here in Washington. He was born here and he planned to move the company in Seattle. At first I was just planning to spend a few days there, go sailing in the Washington Lake, clear my head. But I started getting involved with the company. Never left."

"So you started working for the company, but Derek wasn't interested?"

"Not until his father became ill and he had to face the fact he was going to inherit this thing," says Mark bluntly. "Before that, he did everything he could to avoid it. And he still does it, though his dad has passed away and Derek is now the owner of everything."

Mark takes another chug of his drink. "When Derek is on form, believe me, there's no one you'd rather spend the evening with. He's charming. He's funny. I can understand why your sister would have fallen for him. When you meet him, you'll understand too."

Lexie is slowly starting to relax, as she sips at her gin and tonic. "Well, maybe he'll become my brother-in-law. But at least it won't happen today. Job done!"

"I'll talk to Derek later." Mark nods. "Make sure he doesn't get any stupid ideas."

At once, Lexie feels a tweak of irritation. She just said "Job done", didn't she?

"You don't have to talk with Derek," she says politely. "I've already sorted it. There's no way Meredith will get married in a hurry now. I'd leave it."

"It can't hurt." He looks unmoved.

"Yes, it can!" Lexie plonks her drink down. "Don't do anything! I've spent half an hour making Meredith think that pulling out the wedding was her idea! I was subtle. I was careful."

His face doesn't shift a millimeter. He's clearly a control freak. But so is she. And this is her sister.

"Don't talk to Derek," Lexie commands him. "Leave it. Less is more!"

There's a pause, then Mark shrugs and drains his drink, without answering. Lexie is guessing he knows she's right but doesn't want to admit it. She finishes her gin and tonic too, then waits a beat, almost holding her breath. She's hoping he suggests another drink, she realizes. Lexie only has an empty house to go to. No work. No plans. And the truth is, she likes sitting here, sparring with this slightly too intense, slightly bad-tempered, and too good-looking man.

"Another?" He looks up and meets her eyes, and she feels things shift between them a little. The first drink was like a coda to the whole affair. It was resolution. It was just being polite. This is more than polite.

"Yes, let's."

"Same again?"

She nods as he summons the waiter and orders. Nice hands. Good strong jaw. Unhurried, laconic mannerisms. He's a lot more appealing than his webpage gives away.

"Your website photo is terrible." Lexie says abruptly, as the waiter disappears. "Really, really bad. Did you know that?"

"Whoa." Mark raises his eyebrows, looking taken aback. "You're direct. Lucky I'm not vain."

"It's not about vanity." Lexie shakes her head. "It's not that you are better-looking in the flesh. It's that your personality is better. I'm looking at you and I'm seeing a guy who makes time for people. A guy who puts away his phone. Who listens. You're charming. In a _way_."

"In a way?" Mark gives an incredulous laugh and Lexie smirks.

"But your photo doesn't say that." She ignores him. "In your photo, you're scowling. You're giving out the message: _Who the hell are you? What are you looking at? I haven't got time for this_."

"You got all that from one website photo?"

"I'm guessing you gave the photographer about five minutes and grumbled the whole time and checked your phone between every shot. Bad move."

Mark seems a bit speechless and Lexie wonders if she has gone too far.

Okay, of course she has gone too far. She doesn't even know this guy and she is critiquing his photo.

"Sorry," she backpedals. "I can be... blunt."

"No kidding," he smirks. "I like blunt."

"Fell free to be blunt back." Lexie meets his eyes. "I won't be offended."

"Fair enough," says Mark without missing a beat. "That bridesmaid's dress is terrible on you."

In spite of herself, Lexie feels a flicker of hurt. She didn't think it was that bad.

"Earlier on, you said it looked very nice."

"I was lying. You look like a fruit pastille."

Lexie cannot resist but make a little extra dig. "But at least I don't have a picture of myself looking like a fruit pastille on my website."  
The waiter puts down two more gin and tonics and Lexie picks hers up, feeling a bit fired up after their exchange. She is also wondering how they've got so far off topic. Maybe they should get back to the subject in hand.

"Did you hear about Meredith and Derek's no-sex-policy, by the way?" She says. "How ridiculous is that?"

"Derek mentioned something. I thought he was joking."

"It's no joke. They're waiting till the wedding night." Lexie shakes her head. "If you want my opinion it's irresponsible to get married to someone without sleeping with them. It's asking for trouble!"

"Interesting idea." Mark smirks. "Old-fashioned."

Lexie takes a deep gulp. She's feeling a need to off-load her thoughts on the subject and she cannot exactly sound off to James.

"If you want my theory," she leans forward, "it's skewed their judgment. The whole thing is about sex. Meredith is lost in a cloud of lust. The longer she waits, the less she can think straight. I mean, I get it. I'm sure he's very hot and she is longing to roll around with him. But does she have to _marry_ him?"

"It's cockeyed." Mark nods.

"That's exactly what I said. They should just go to bed. Spend a week in bed. A month if they want to! Have a good time. Then see if they still want to marry each other." Lexie takes another massive gulp of her drink. "I mean you don't have to sign your life away just to have sex-" she breaks off as a thought suddenly occurs to her. "Are you married?"

"Divorced."

"Me too. Divorced. So we know."

"About what?"

"Sex." Lexie realizes that came out wrong. "Marriage," she amends.

Mark thinks for a moment, sipping his drink. "The more I think back over last few years," he says slowly, "the less I feel I know about marriage. Sex, on the other hand, I guess I've nailed."

The gin has gone straight to her head, Lexie can feel it buzzing around, loosening her tongue.

"I'm sure you have." She hears herself saying.

The air seems to thicken in the silence. A little too late, Lexie realizes she has just told a total stranger that she's sure he's good in bed. Does she backtrack? Qualify in some way?

No. Move on. She casts around for something anodyne, but it's Mark who speaks next.

"Since we are speaking frankly... How have you found it? Your divorce. Total nightmare?"

Lexie opens her mouth and draws in a deep, long breath, automatically reaching for the memory stick round her neck. Then she stops. Not bitter, Lexie. Not bitter. Sweet. She needs to think spun sugar, candy, flowers, fluffy lambs, Julie Andrews...

"Oh, you know." She gives him a saccharine smile. "These things happen."

"How long ago was it?"

"Still happening." Her smile broadens. "Should be sorted soon."

"And you are _smiling_?" He sounds incredulous.

"I like to be Zen about it." She nods several times. "Stay calm, move on. Look on the bright side. Don't dwell."

"Wow." Mark's eyes have widened. "I'm impressed. Mine was three years ago. Still hurts."

"That's a real pity." Lexie manages. "Poor you."

Her fake smile is nearly killing her. She wants to ask him how it still hurts and what happened and shall they compare ways in which their exes are total louses? She is desperate to spill out all the details and talk incessantly about it until she hears from him what she needs to hear. Such as she is right about everything and Jackson is in the wrong. Which, no doubt, is why Alex gave her a talking-to. He's always right.

"So. Uhm. Shall I get some more drinks?" Lexie reaches for her bag and hurriedly pull out her purse.

Argh. _No_.

The purse flipped up as she tugged it out and with it came some of the condoms of her variety pack. One of them lands in Mark's drink, splashing him in the face.

"Oh my Goodness!" She quickly starts grabbing them. "Those _aren't_... they were for my son's school project."

"Ah." Mark nods and then he politely retrieves the condom from his drink and hands it to her. "How old is your son? No way you have a teenage boy!"

"Five, indeed."

" _Five_?" He looks scandalized.

"It's... Long story." Lexie sighs and winces as she grabs the wet condom. "Let me get you another drink. I am so sorry." Automatically she has started drying the condom with a paper napkin.

"I'd probably chuck that one." Says Mark. "Unless you are desperate."

Lexie glances up sharply. He looks deadpan but there's something about his voice that makes her want to laugh.

"It's fine," Lexie counters. "Waste not, want not." She stuffs it back into her bag. "Another drink? Without the contraceptive garnish?"

"I'll get them." Mark leans back, tilting his stool to signal at the waiter and she finds her eyes running over his lean, fit body. Lexie doesn't know if it's the gin or the frisson of having practically told him he's good in bed or that whole weird situation, but she is becoming a little fixated. What would his hair feel like between her fingers? He has trimmed facial hair, too. Which is good. Lexie likes friction. She likes spark. That's what she is feeling between them. The right kind of spark.

She predicts he's slow and determined in bed. Focused. Takes sex as seriously as he takes fixing his friend's love life. As Mark lets the stool rest back on the ground, he looks at her and his eyelids flicker. He's thinking something too. His eyes keep skimming over her legs and Lexie casually shifts in her seat so that her skirt rucks a little higher, showing her thighs.

She bets he leaves teeth marks. She just feels it instinctively. She doesn't know what to say. She wants to drink two more gins, she decides at last. Two gins should do it. And then…

"So." Lexie breaks the silence.

"So." Mark nods, then asks casually. "Do you have to come back to your son?"

"Nope. Not tonight. He's sleeping over at a friend's."

"Ah."

And now he is looking directly at her and her throat is suddenly tight with longing. It's been too long. Far too long. Not that she'll admit that to him.

A waitress comes up with their fresh drinks. She sets them down and then eyes Lexie's bouquet, followed by Mark's buttonhole. "Oh! Are you two getting married?"

Lexie can't help but burst into laughter. "No. No. _Not at all_."

"Definitely not," Mark adds.

"Oh. What a shame! We have a special champagne deal for wedding parties," she persists. "We get so many, what with the City Hall just down the road. Are you being joined by the bride and groom, then?"

"Actually, we are anti-marriage," Lexie says, lifting her chin up. "Our motto is: make love, not vows."

"Here's to that." Mark lifts his glass, his eyes glinting.

The waitress looks from Mark to Lexie, laughs uncertainly and then leaves.

Lexie downs about half of her gin and tonic. Her head is gently spinning and she feels another surge of longing. She starts imagining his lips on her, his hands ripping off her dress… Oh Gosh! He is probably imagining his bus home. Lexie looks away and stirs her drink, playing for time. She can never stand thin uncertain stage of meeting a man, when she has no idea how things are going. She knows how far up she is, but she doesn't know how far he actually is, or even if he is really with her. Maybe he is mentally heading in the other direction. Here she is, midway through sexual fantasy number 53, but he could be about to wrap up politely and head home.

"Would you like to go to somewhere else?" Mark says abruptly and her stomach lurches in anticipation.

"That would be great, yes." Lexie forces herself to sound low key and chilled. "What kind of place?"

Mark frowns deeply, attacking ice cubes with his stirrer.

"We could eat," he says finally, with no enthusiasm. "Sushi, maybe. Or…"

"Or we could _not_ eat." Lexie says in a throaty voice.

He looks up, his guard finally down and she feels delicious shiver. He is like a mirror image of her. He has hungry look in his eyes. A desperate longing. He wants to devour something and Lexie is sure it's not sushi.

"That could work," Mark replies, his eyes flicking to her legs again. Leg man, clearly.

"So… Where do you live?" Lexie asks lightly.

"Not too far."

His eyes are now locked on hers.

They stand up in the same moment and he distractedly puts some money on the counter.

The walk from the bar to his loft seems to take far much longer than possible and they practically fall into the elevator, staying in silence. Lexie's eyes are locked with his and Mark comes to stand so close in front of her, she has to tilt her chin up to keep looking at him.

Before she can stop herself, Lexie lifts a hand and rests it on his chest. He is so hard and fit, she almost moans.

Mark feels his own heart rate speed up at her light touch and his jaw sets while his body tenses. It seems odd they have just met an hour before.

Mark moves quickly and dives his hands into her hair, as he lowers his lips, kissing her hard. Lexie gasps in surprise but quickly responds. She wraps her arms around his broad shoulders and opens her mouth, moaning as his tongue slowly dives in, sensually twisting around hers.

She wants more.

Lexie feels the hard wall of the elevator against her back and one of Mark's hand has left her hair and is now brushing her body until it reaches her thigh.

She kisses him harder, knowing this is ridiculous. They have just met. She doesn't know this man. She never acts like this. She is a responsible mother, for God's sake! She is the girl who likes to go out with a man at least a few times, before they find themselves in this particular position. But at this moment, as his beard is scratching her face and his hand is creeping up the outside of her thigh, she doesn't care.

She wants this man and she wants him now.


End file.
